My Expiration Date Is Why I Can't Let You Love Me - Hosie

Chapter Nine

A month later...

I'm now in Japan and I feel right at home, the culture is absolutely amazing, the food is out of this world, and the people here are so welcoming. I've kept my promise to my Dad and Lizzie and have been calling them everywhere I've been, and I've been sending post cards as well, but they have yet to receive them.

So far I have been all over Asia and I'm just so amazed at how beautiful the world is, it's so hard to appreciate such beauty when I've only left Mystic Falls a handful of times. Such as to visit my mom in Europe, or my trips to New Orleans, one when I was a child with Lizzie and my mom, and the other a few years ago to met with a witch, Hope's Aunt... Freya Mikaelson.

Next I was supposed to be going to India, but I have to take a detour back to the US. I need to go to New Orleans. I need to speak with Freya Mikaelson. I need to be rid of these visions, and she's the only one that can help me.

It first happened when I was on my plane ride out of the US going to Indonesia, my first destination on my world wide tour. I fell asleep and I began to have these dreams, they were something I've never had before. They were flashes of memories or visions of... of a person... of her.

They just kept happening when I closed my eyes. At first I was annoyed but they soon started to give me comfort. I now enjoy sleeping like I never had before... because I get to see her.

I have asked my Dad and Lizzie how Hope has been. From what my Dad and Lizzie have both said Hope has been distant from the school, from every person she has come into contact with. When they get a chance to speak with Hope she seems distracted. I wonder what has her so distracted, and distant. But I need to stop wondering. I just need to have my few years to myself, and enjoy the world and find myself, and settle my feeling for Hope... it just can't happen. She can't love me and I can't lover her. I have this stupid expiration date. And Hope has lost too many people in her life.

Freya Mikaelson needs to help me remove her niece from my head, I need these visions to stop. I've tried siphoning them but they just won't budge. Maybe I made a mistake with Hope, and it's my mind telling me to go back to her. I'm just scared I'm going to cause her so much unwanted pain. And I can't bare the thought of her being in pain for eternity. I can't bare the thought of her being alone and not with me for eternity. I can't bare the thought of myself being with anyone besides Hope for the rest of my life.