Shut Up And Write - Assignment Book

Here is My Confession

Assignment:

I'm sure not everyone's characters are angels, most people have secrets, and the juicier the better. In this prompt activity, take time to write from your character's point of view as they confess all in their diary, journal, or a letter to someone. It can be as long or as short as you want it to be, and you can choose to write as any character you've written.

Submission:

(Mateo's PoV)

A cold breeze cuts through my clothes, causing my body to convulse in a shiver. Everyone has long since gone, leaving with the light of the sun, but I chose to stay and have some privacy with my thoughts. 

I pull out a crumpled piece of paper that has accompanied me for years, but the words written therein have never been spoken aloud. It's time for her to hear them. 

I clear my throat and keep my voice steady. "These are words from my heart. No jokes. No deflecting...No secrets." I pause and take a deep breath. 

"I've never actually believed I'm special. I was dropped at the orphanage at a young age and though there could have been many logical reasons, I truly believe it's because my mother didn't want me. When I ran away from the orphanage, I was another nameless urchin that no one would have known or cared if I'd died. But I kept fighting to stay alive. Why?"

I place the piece of paper down on the stone bench beside me, using my momentum to let the words flow naturally. "I keep trying to prove myself wrong. They say everyone is unique, everyone has a purpose, everyone is special. I needed to see it for myself to believe it. But nothing was enough. I took Tephin's magic thinking it would make me special and it only turned me into a monster. I have abused the power - I have stolen, I have lied, I have cheated, I have hurt people - all because I have desperately been trying to rise to the top...because I guess being on top would finally satisfy me?"

I take off my golden cloak and present the cloth to her. "I have risen to the position of Grandmaster, which is one of the highest honors in the Kingdom and yet it's still not enough. I still abuse my power. I am supposed to be upholding the law and yet I use my position to bend the law to my will. It's okay to steal if the family I'm feeding is starving. It's okay to kill people if they were bad. It's okay to yearn after another man's wife because she is unhappy with him..."

I drop the cloak and my eyes feel dry. "Honestly, I don't know if I could have made you happier than he did. I saw how amazing and special you were and I thought that maybe if we could be together, you could show me how I could be special too. I would have done anything to make you happy because you deserve it. I see now that while it's true you deserved the best...I don't."

Droplets begin to fall from the dark clouds above, masking my tears. "All my life, I have been striving to achieve something I will never attain. I know now that I will never be the good guy. I will never be the knight in shining armor. I will never be the man who was deserving of you. But there is still one thing I can do..." 

I rest my hand on her tombstone. "I can avenge you."