3 more hours and it will be a day shy of 1 month sober. I am in recovery because everyday is an uphill battle. I just want to fall onto my back and self dose GHB (liquid roofies).
Open. Load. Swish. Swallow.
Pain and burning of household cleaners being washed down with electrolyte-filled liquids. I want the substance to make my mind go numb. Make my vision feel foggy. Make my heart jump a beat or two. I want to faint and let men run their way with me.
Open. Load. Swish. Swallow.
I am shy and have been shy of 1 month sober. This journey is court mandated. I don't have a parole officer, but I need ti stay clean for rehab.
Open. Load. Ignite. Inhale.
I miss my bong. My long 14 inch blue bong. Easy to smoke and easy to inhale. I love how it's easy to run the torch under the bowl. I miss the amount of sucking I need to use to get any product in me.
Open. Pour. Flush. Drain.
It's for the better. I have yet to touch it again. I want to. I just worry how far deep I would end up. Will I end up asking men to plunge the needle and slam meth up my veins. Am I willing to choke myself again? Those in rehab said I had a good slam. Not coughing afterwards but still being winded.
Maybe when my probation is over. I might float down with an overdose.
Sober Status: Day 28, 2 hours from Day 29.
