𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴, 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 ~𝙆𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙖

Fatuous Life,

1:30 AM, Present Day

Nagito POV:

Slipping is such a nice word.

   Slipping: Verb- The the action of sliding down or for the worse unintentionally

     Nothing describes what I'm doing better than slipping. Down my brain spiral goes, unintentionally, till I hate myself more than the despair I refuse to feel. I want to scream, but there's someone in the dorm next to mine and I don't want him to hear me pained. Hajime... when we first started dating, I would go next door and crawl into bed with him when I felt this way. He'd hold me, it helped It was more than you deserved then, you certainly don't deserve it now. "Ah Shut Up!" I say softly to myself. It doesn't do anything to tell my brain to fuck off, but I tell it to anyways. I rip off my jacket, and if there was a mirror around I'm sure I'd see red scratches on my skin, but I don't care. Don't You??  "ACH!" I wrap my arms around myself and dig my nails into my skin yet again. I dig in, deeper, deeper, and rake my nails up and down my arms. I put a smile on my face, I WILL NOT CRY. Wont you though? You feel it coming~~!!  "Ahhahaha." I start to laugh lightly under my breath. "Ahahahahaha." The sound echo's off the walls, its reverberating, surrounding. God your voice is so annoying I slice my nails deeper into my arm. My fingers feel wet, I guess I'm bleeding again. I can smell the rusty scent of my own blood in the air and I feel I may choke on it. "Shut UP!" You want to shut your brain off so bad, do it. No ones stopping you. Your parents would be relived, your classmates, your teacher. Hell, even Hajime probably. Do it you coward. Become the stepping stone for their hope. Trash. Kill yourself. 

Narrator POV:

     If anyone had been in the room at the time, they would have seen the light leave the bleeding boy's eyes. The greenish grey hue turned even greyer and all motion within him stopped. Knee's buckling, he fell to the floor with a thump, the noise faint to him. His arms stopped hugging his pale, frail, unfed body, and down to his sides they went. Another faint thump, and then no noise was left in the room. No echo's of his psychotic pained laughter, no reverberating of his knees hitting the floor. Not even crying. Just Nagito, jacket next the wall it hit when her threw it, and his pale self kneeling on the floor, defeated my his own mind. He didn't do anything but sit, turning the word "suicide" over and over in his mind. And after half an hour, he still didn't know what to do. He wanted his brain to stop, He needed his brain to stop. But... And it was then that a sound entered the room for the first time since he broke. 

     "Hajime..." Nagito said, whimpered. What of Hajime? Would Hinata really be better off without him? The brunette student always looked so happy to see his snow haired lover, seemed happy to be around him. Was that a lie? No, it wasn't a lie, but maybe Hajime would realize that he would be better without Nagito after Komaeda perished. At least, that's what Nagito thought, as he sat there on the floor bloody-armed and bruise-kneed. That's when he realized why Hajime's "I love you" hurt so much. Nagito didn't believe it was real, that it could last. Once he was dead, Hinata wouldn't care, he would just find someone else and keep his dreams in reach, Hajime would go on. That's what Nagito thought. But as an omniscient Narrator I know, The brunette loverman next door would be broken if Komaeda didn't continue on. Hinata did love the fluffy crazy hope bagel he was dating. This was fact. A fact that Nagito wasn't aware of however, no matter how many times he had been told. Again the silence broke. "I'm tired..." Nagito said softly, and he stood up and drug his feet along the floor to his bed, cutting his bare feet on the flooring, not even wincing at the pain. He would wake up sticky, sweaty, and rust smelling the next morning, going to sleep bloody and still in his school clothes. But he didn't think about that. He was to tired.

Hajime POV, 40 minutes earlier:

     Soft sounds are coming from next door. I don't know what they are, but knowing Nagito... they might not be good. Should I go next door? I don't want to wake him up if he's sleeping, he doesn't sleep well, one look at his face will tell you that. I get up, school spirit pajama bottoms sliding against the floor. "This is the wall that separates our rooms..." I think, and put my ear against it. "Ahhahaha." I hear. oh. He's laughing, not crying. That's good right? He laughs a lot, most of the time when he's doing something slightly crazy. But if something was wrong, he'd walk the couple of steps next door, like he used too. Right? "Yeah..." I say softly to myself, but my voice doesn't sound confident. "Right!" I say more confidently. "He'd tell me if something was wrong." I'm still not sure, but I pretend I am and walk back to bed. I pull back the blankets and climb in, but it doesn't make me tired. "right..." I say to the roof, why am I talking aloud again? I look out the window, at the stars. They'll listen, "Right." I repeat for the fourth time. "He'd come over. If something was wrong." I don't know why I keep laying there. I'm still worried. I'm not tired.

Authors Note: Shorter chapter than the previous two, but there's enough emotion in it without extra paragraphs I think. What about you? I hope I didn't trigger anyone with Nagito's shit i̶t̶s̶ ̶b̶a̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶f̶f̶ ̶m̶y̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶s̶l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶*̶l̶a̶u̶g̶h̶s̶ ̶u̶n̶c̶o̶m̶f̶o̶r̶t̶a̶b̶l̶y̶*̶  I hope it wasn't triggering, I hope it was emotion packed but readable. Don't kill yourself lovelies, there are people who care no matter what you think <3 Thanks for reading chapter 3, stay tuned for chapter four!