Rodentia Adventures

EPILOGUE: LEON TAKES A WALK

Meanwhile, beyond the veil of eternity, atop the ethereal pillars we find the lair of the sinister Frank and Edna Ex Mortis. 

"What are you doing with your life? Do you have any idea how hard it is to explain to all my friends at the seniors center why I'm the only one without grand-kids?" the elderly raven asked, clucking her tongue. 

~Leave me alone, mom. 

Dark overlord Ahnyma was still looking rather banged up from the hundreds of punches, but would have happily chosen to be right there again, if only it had meant escaping this conversation. 

"Oh, don't you take that tone with me, young lady! How about Margret's boy? I hear he's studying to become a lawyer." Edna Ex Mortis said, looking with beady red eyes through her spectacles, a grey haired wig set atop her head. Ravens had considerably less fashion sense than mice, relying entirely upon found items. In this case, those items served the expected purposes: they demonstrated wisdom and age, the second quality being particularly important, so that nobody would ever expect them to assist with manual labor. Exactly how the great black bird had happened to come upon a  grey wig designed to fit avian proportions was anyone's guess, however. 

"Fuh! Lawyers! Who needs em? Now, that young Thomas lad, he's got a good head on his shoulders, and strong wings to carry it. He's the one you should marry!" the faded feathered male replied. There was only one set of glasses, which the elderly avian couple were forced to share, ownership switching between them on alternate days. Beyond that, he instead opted for a fake beard which tied around the back of his neck. Apparently that was also a recognizable symbol of age amongst their kind, for some reason. 

~God, I don't want to get married! 

"Oh, what, would that interrupt your important work of, what was it? Playing with some mice, oh 'dark overlord'?" Edna asked. 

~It's not playing! It's serious! It's my job and who I am! Why can't you accept that? 

The bird woman sighed. "Where did we go wrong with you? I get it, all kids go through a rebellious phase, but enough is enough..." she paused, turning to her husband. "Really? Thomas? That empty headed lunk?" 

"What? He's a strong boy! Focused and traditional! That's just what Melanie needs to get her head on straight." 

~How many times do I have to tell you? It's Overlord Ahnyma! Nobody is going to be afraid of 'Melanie Ex Mortis'! 

"Sure, sure, you wanna be scary huh? Try getting a real job! That'd shock me more than any ghost or goblin!" he continued, waving a wing to her dismissively before returning his focus to his wife "And what, you want her with that thin-legged wind-bag, who's never done an honest days work in his life? This nest is crowded enough! The last thing we need is a bunch more squawking mouths to feed, who'll never move out!" 

"Oh, here we go..." the grey wigged raven rolled her eyes. 

"It's true! It's all because of you and that liberal arts degree of yours! We don't have directionless slackers on my side of the family!" Frank said to her. 

"Psychiatry isn't liberal arts!" 

"It's all the same! Impractical gibberish that teaches young people that working with their mind is better than working with their feet! Why, back in my day, we didn't need none of this 'education', and we got along just fine." 

"Yeah, it shows. Hey, remember last week when you tried to swallow a shoe-lace?" Edna asked, her red eyes narrowed. 

"It looked like a worm!"