The Dangers of Monopoly. And Also Aragorn

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A.N: Surprise! Finals are looming, and instead I wrote a crack fic. Apologies for not writing anything for the last eight months, returning to school was lovely but I was very busy. Anyways I really hope you all enjoy this, I'm going to try to write more but of course we shall see the direction life takes. But consider this an apology and a fic to hopefully make up for my absence. Enjoy and please let me know what you think!

Requested by @grondds-and-roses on Tumblr: maybe the fellowship are playing monopoly and things get really heated. Pippin and Gandalf constantly end up in jail together. Legolas is drunk. Merry and Gimli are competing against each other to see who gets more lands. Sam managed to get all the green-coloured lands and is building a little Shire. Boromir is trying to make it a bonding experience. Frodo just wants to go read his book. And while Merry and Gimli are trying to get all the lands on the board, Aragorn is actually the one with most of the lands, and nobody seems to notice.

Summary: The Fellowship play Monopoly. It gets heated. Fast

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The Dangers of Monopoly. And Also Aragorn

"I SWEAR if you roll ONE MORE TWELVE I WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL MERIADOC!!!!"

Gimli's shout rang around the room, causing everyone to look up from whatever squabble they were currently involved in, and Merry to drop the die he was currently shaking in his hands. Which... landed with two sixes face-up. Another twelve.

Gimli started to stand, looking positively murderous, until the arm of a drunk elf suddenly slung itself across his shoulders.

"Would ya look at that?!" Legolas slurred. "Guess the bad luck continues, my friend!"

Laughter rang out from the Fellowship, amused both by the very drunk elf and the dwarf that looked ready to throw said elf in a river. Or worse.

Earlier that day, Boromir had proposed a game of Monopoly to the Fellowship, describing it as a "low-key, relaxing game which we can all bond over" (Frodo noted down the exact phrasing, in case this turned out the same as all of Boromir's "bonding activities"). Gandalf had been skeptical, Aragorn had figured it was worth a shot and agreed, and Gimli had laughed out loud before realizing he was serious. Eventually agreeing, the four gathered the rest of the Fellowship, sitting them all around a table in a cozy room with a crackling fire, good food, and of course, alcohol.

The game had started smoothly enough- everyone had picked their pieces, Gimli going for the ax and Legolas for the bow, Frodo for the hat, Sam the shoe, Merry and Pippin squabbling over the beer mug until Gandalf took it, and Merry settled for the bucket and Pippin the boat, Boromir took the chair, and Aragorn, to absolutely no one's surprise except his own because he's modest, was left with the crown.

Things went pretty well after that. Everyone made their way around the board, buying lands, negotiating with people for other lands. Until Pippin and Gandalf ended up in jail. Together.

"How did you get here?" Pippin exclaimed. "This is my jail!"

"You can't just claim jail, Pip," Frodo interjected.

"Sure I can! I was the only one here until this guy showed up! And aren't you supposed to be Mr. Always Follow the Rules?" Pippin jabbed Gandalf in the shoulder.

"That's not how Monopoly works. You go to jail because you landed in the wrong spot or something, not for bad behavior." Frodo was beginning to look fed up.

As Pippin started to swipe Gandalf's piece off the board, Boromir caught his arm.

"Look, Pippin. You rolled doubles- you can leave jail now." Boromir pointed out.

"Oh! So I have. Farewell Gandalf! Enjoy your prison!"

"Fool of a Took," the wizard mumbled.

Merry rolled that twelve a moment later, landing on and buying one of the dwarven lands Gimli had coveted the whole game. After even more threats involving soul stealing (Pippin observed to Aragorn that he couldn't imagine what Gimli could want with Merry's soul), and several of Merry's fingers coming dangerously close to Gimli's ax, Legolas landed on one of Gimli's most expensive lands and had to pay a large amount of rent. With that, Merry's acquisition of the land Gimli had wanted was pretty much forgotten.

Soon after that, Boromir noticed that somehow, Sam had bought all the lands in the green category, and was proceeding to load them with inns. And on the expensive lands, too.

"Wh- how?! When?!" exclaimed the dwarf.

Sam just smiled. "That's six gold coins, Gimli, you're at one of my inns."

As Boromir stacked six of his fake gold coins (because no one would be stupid enough to play Monopoly with real money), muttering under his breath about how "it's always the nice ones that get you," Merry snatched something from Frodo's hands under the table.

"Are you reading during our Fellowship bonding game?!"

Frodo looked rather sheepish, but nodded.

Legolas threw his hands up dramatically. "How COULD YOU, Frodo?! We're having so much fun! Look at Aragorn- he's got half the lands on the board, and you're spoiling his fun!"

All heads snapped to look at the left side of the board, where Aragorn was busily arranging all his land cards in alphabetical order. He felt everyone's eyes on him

And with that, the whole situation dissolved into complete chaos, friend insulting friend as each attempted to beat the person they were mad at. Gimli and Merry were so red they could have steam coming out of their ears, Boromir and Sam arguing about a "hospitality tax," Frodo trying to keep reading under the table until he was once again dragged into Pippin and Gandalf's argument about jail (the new complaint was that the jail didn't have space for both their pieces- which it very much did), Legolas interjecting into any argument he wanted with a slurred piece of bad advice. All while Aragon sat in front of the board, gazing at all the lands he'd collected with a peaceful smile on his face.

At least, peaceful until three out of four hobbits landed in his lap at once, each thrown by a different person, all of whom yelled the words "here, Aragorn, since you're so happy YOU can deal with them!"

Aragorn just laughed. He hoped they could have a Battleship tournament the next week, as he was fairly certain he'd dominate at that as well. 

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