tritanopia | The Mandalorian

thirty-seven

Fae was being hauled and dragged and shouted at before she had actually come to and so she gained consciousness of herself roughly half way through it all. Whoever had a hold of her legs at the time was making it painfully clear that they mustn't care for Fae all that much as they paid no mind to the fact the girl's head was scraping against the ground. Her vision was a washed-out watercolour masterpiece that seemed to shift and dance like it was almost trying to entertain the girl. The majority of her body was coated in a tingling numbness which did far less to comfort her than someone may have believed. Her hand, the right one, in particular, tingled to such an extent that Fae's cells felt like lightening. And when she lifted up that hand and saw the blood and the dirt, she was reminded of what she had done.

She killed her father.

Fae killed her father.

I killed my father.

Fae had killed the last piece of herself that she had left. And although in hindsight the piece was rotten and decaying, he was still more of herself than she ever possessed alone, and now it was gone forever. Is having a bad part of yourself better than having no part of yourself?

The pain was beginning to go ease away slowly from either the drug seeping further into her system or the bacta being sprayed on parts of her body she couldn't even feel anymore as Fae's eyes became aware of the Child's oversized ears taking over her swimming vision. He seemed concerned, but she was unable to connect the reasoning of why in her mind. Everything was fine -- absolutely no doubt about it fucking fine. The world around Fae had begun to soften, a feeling she knew far too well, and she allowed it to become an all-consuming blanket. It enveloped her in safety and comfort and the girl forgot about absolutely everything. Including Mando, and the fact he was laying, in a no better state than she was in herself, directly next to her.

Mando knew pretty much every single aspect of their situation had gone sideways. Undeniably tits up. The spreading warmth emitting on the back of his head was definite proof alone, never mind the unconscious teenager who was sprawled out on the floor to his left. He watched as Fae's eyelids twitched and wavered while she stared at nothing, and he immediately recognised the fact that the girl was high. Admittedly, he had seen her higher. But Fae was still on some sort of trip, nonetheless. And she almost looked peaceful...innocent. And maybe he would have believed that she was, if he was also drugged up on some military grade shit like Fae.

But, some would say unfortunately, he was not.

So, when Mando looked down at the bleeding girl on the floor that he had travelled with and saved the life of and cried over -- the man felt nothing but resentment. After all, in his mind, this was all her fault. Because at the end of the day Fae was a liar, even she herself would admit to that, and if she had only told the truth from the beginning then Mando would not have blood dripping from beneath his helmet. Mainly because if Fae had told him the truth when they first met, then he likely would have flown to the other side of galaxy in order to not get dragged into whatever shitty Empire baggage she was pulling around with her.

Deep down Mando questioned whether he would have even gone back to save her -- whether or not he would have just handed her over and left her for good. Despite the vast amount of pain he was enduring at that moment, the idea still managed to put a sick feeling in his stomach that consumed the forefront of his mind over every single other thought. The tunnel vision Mando seemed to have developed then led him to not even notice when Fae suddenly disappeared, along with everybody else.

But neither did Fae, to be fair.

While Cara carried the girl through the sewers, Fae tossed over her shoulder as though she was nothing but an object rather than a person, she could be heard mumbling to herself. Nobody would ever know what Fae had been dreaming about but surely it must have been nothing good as over time her sounds of distress only grew louder and louder, echoing through the tunnels as the bacta and the drugs fought for dominance in her veins, until eventually she scared herself awake from the noise and jolted so severely that Cara 'had no choice' but to allow her body to fall as a deadweight to the ground.