خاطرتي

The two

Two people in me...
How come that there is two people in me ?! Ill tell you
(One) the first that everyone does know already، the one i am when i meet new ones and people who aren't going to be in my life forever.. which is most if the people

The thing is "number one me" she isn't fully me.. she is a half!
The one people would like and want to be friends with.. which is a little me ..but the other half is the introvert me that hates to be around people ، and afraid of thier looks and questions ، afraid to be around them.. the one that feels like they are staring..
The one that wants to have the best first impression to people!
The one i am not comfortable to be all the time because; she wants sometimes to runaway and hide under all the blankets in the world because if you come near her she will snap at you and she might.. she just might kill you just for being in her personal space!
.....
Yeah all of that is (one)
One by the way is also what my family and parents want!

........

(Two) the half that i want to be.. the half i feel comfortable with
The half that represents what am i for real...
The one only few people know about..
The one that is completely the opposite from the first half (that i used to think that its me)

Or maybe the first half that is also me..
Two is the the half my family won't love ...my parents won't want ....my people wouldn't be my people anymore...

I was raised to be ONE but i am actually TWO inside and when (one) and (two) are in the same person
The person wouldn't know who are they ...because; they are not comfortable to being ONE fully and not comfortable to be TWO either.....

SO lost ...what am i ...how to live a one life without hurting myself, and others!
How to live as a one person when i am only half ONE half TWO

All the love....
Diana