dancing with a stranger

VIII

"both of you go ahead, i need to use the toilet" seungmin rushed off. he was always someone with rancid motion sickness. that 30 minute car ride did no justice to his lunch. 

jeongin scrunched his nose while hyunjin laughed it off. "lets go" hyunjin lead the way to the usual consulting room. it was almost muscle memory for the two boys. hyunjin has been accompanying jeongin to the hospital for this bi-weekly check ups for as long as he could remember. jeongin's parents were always busy so he took up the role as a makeshift older brother for the younger boy. 

"hello doctor kim! long time no see" jeongin chirped as he sat down on a chair. 

"haha, i saw you the week before last jeongin. how are you feeling?" the middle-aged doctor spoke in a clear yet soothing voice that offers utmost assurance to anyone he was talking to. he was doing the usual check-up procedures like taking a blood sample and checking jeongin's blood pressure. 

hyunjin was seating at a chair at the back of the room. he eyed the two as he usually did. although he saw the same doctor every two weeks, little conversation was exchanged between the two. he preferred to observe. 

"everything has been okay! im actually feeling really good" jeongin spoke but there was a hitch in his tone that made hyunjin recognised. jeongin was lying and whether doctor kim picked it up or not, he played it off with a smile and encouraging words. 

once the whole checkup session was done, jeongin waited outside the room with seungmin, bickering as they usually do. doctor kim signaled hyunjin to have a seat at the desk. 

"jeongin was lying earlier wasn't he? have you witnessed anything particular with the boy?" doctor kim asked, opening up his notebook. 

hyunjin shrugged. of course he witnessed things. he saw how jeongin was always breathless while stocking up the shelves in the convenience store. how jeongin was always complaining about soreness in his arms and legs. how jeongin had frequent headaches. how jeongin was almost always in constant pain because of his sickness which was hodgkin's lymphoma. 

but he didn't say any of those. if jeongin wanted to keep it a secret, he would too. whether it was morally or ethically correct was past him. 

"i understand you care for your cousin. as you know jeongin is adamant about not receiving chemo. he always says that the medication we give him is helping but you know how medication can only do so much. he needs the appropriate treatment. stage 2 is still very much curable but he needs chemo" doctor kim explained, a tugging in his voice, as if he was desperate. 

hyunjin knew how much doctor kim cared for jeongin as well. 

"please please, try to convince your cousin to receive treatment. ive talked to his parents about this as well but i think the boy will rightfully listen to you more" doctor kim said, sadness in his eyes. 

"im trying my best doc" hyunjin spoke softly. it wasn't as if he hadn't tried to convince jeongin. jeongin's answer was always the same. how he didn't want to burden his parents. how he didn't want to waste his life away doing chemo. he never understood jeongin's stand in this but who was he to force him anyways. 

hyunjin left the room to see jeongin and seungmin napping, leaning against each other. it was a wholesome sight. he took out his phone to snap a picture of that moment. he cared for seungmin and jeongin as if they were his own brothers.

"lets go guys, im pretty hungry. burgers anyone?" hyunjin shook the two boys awake. "yeahhhh!" seungmin groggily cheered. 

---- 

"i should have really ordered more pickles. they gave like three pieces in this huge burger" seungmin whined which earned him a look from the younger boy. 

"you can take mine. i strongly dislike pickles" jeongin slowly disassembled his burger and took the pickles out to place it on seungmin's. 

"what did doctor kim talk to you about?" seungmin asked, a handful of fries in his mouth. 

"he was talking about the chemo treatment jeongin should be doing" hyunjin was straightforward. he knew this was the best for jeongin, and as much as he wanted to respect the younger boy's choices, he kept replaying what doctor kim said. 

the mood in the table instantly went dark. jeongin wasn't in his usual jolly mood. seungmin stopped chewing on his fries. 

"you know the treatments would be good for you. stage 2 is extremely curable but you NEED to undergo chemo jeongin" hyunjin spoke, a certain plead in his voice. 

jeongin simply looked up and said "ill do it once it gets a little worse. you know how i don't want to burden mom and dad. plus, if i go for chemo, i'll probably be in the hospital day in and day out".

"but-" seungmin cut hyunjin off. "really good point kid. i wouldn't be able to see you make a fool of yourself too" seungmin lightheartedly said, in a desperate attempt to lift the mood. he gave a look to hyunjin which hyunjin instantly knew. don't push it 

hyunjin sighed. "anyone craving ice cream?" he asked as he took the last bite of his meal. the 2 boys nodded their heads excitedly. 

there was always another time and day to talk to jeongin about this. but for now, he will continue to take everything as it is, making sure that jeongin was always happy.