𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐲 [𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰]

↳ 𝙒𝙞𝙛𝙚

As much as you wish that things would improve between you and Toji, that a romance would spark, there is nothing. There is nothing because you know he doesn't see you as your own person. He pictures you as the idea of something he misses and adores so much, his wife. He pictures you as his wife, a role that he holds fond memories of, and he has yet to realize it.

It explains his jealousy, and the kiss. He calls you his wife and refuses to acknowledge you as anything different. You want to think that it's better than the hostility from the beginning, but it saddens you. It just causes a gloomy estate to overtake your emotions.

It's not because you want Toji to love you as a person. You don't really care if he loves you or not, and you don't expect him to, after all the marriage is something neither of you wanted. But the thought that you're unlovable is lingering in your mind, and he's falling in love with the idea of a wife, not with you as a person.

It's Thursday night, five days after you and Toji kissed, and while he tries to speak with you more than usual, you're quiet. You only pay attention to the kids because whenever you open your mouth to speak with Toji, a lump forms in your throat.

You're folding the laundry while Toji and Misaki play with her dolls, and Megumi is in his playpen, his little eyes focused on the picturesque TV that displays a cartoon he has never seen before. You hear Misaki telling Toji how to hold his grandbaby right. Since he's Misaki's dad, he has been promoted as the grandfather of the dolls.

"Hold Megumi right!" You hear Misaki scold Toji and he apologizes to Misaki and to the baby doll as well. The name caught him off guard when he first heard it, but now he remembers a while ago when Misaki had informed him about one of his baby dolls being named Megumi.

"Don't use that tone with Toji, Misaki. It's disrespectful." You speak, as you finish folding all of her clothes. You put them all in her laundry basket, to carry upstairs and put it away.

"But mommy, he just won't do it right! I told him like- like- like- this amount of times that he's holding the baby wrong." Misaki justifies her tone, putting her ten little fingers up to tell you the amount of times she's had to correct Toji. "Ten times is a lot!"

"Have I ever talked to you like that when you won't listen?" You question and she shakes her head. You manage to not show your irritation even when it's almost impossible. "Talking to people with such a tone scares them away, and they won't ask for help in the future."

Toji wants to tell you it's not a big deal, but he knows better than to say that in front of Misaki. You know it's not something big enough to lecture the child about because sincerely you couldn't really care about how Toji feels at this moment, but you know that if she's using this tone with Toji then she's using it with someone else. It's more or less so she learns not to speak like that to someone else, and it just happens that she was talking to Toji like that.

"Sorry mommy." She responds, and you begin to walk away.

"Apologize to Toji, not me." You tell her before walking out of their sight. Misaki mutters an apology to Toji, and he quickly accepts it. They high-five and continue playing for a bit more.

Ten minutes pass and Toji stands up, giving Misaki her doll. He smiles at her. "It's bedtime. You have preschool tomorrow and Megumi has to sleep too."

Misaki nods and takes her doll before standing up and walking upstairs. Toji turns off the TV and picks up Megumi from his playpen. The baby is crying since his show was taken away, and Toji just pats his back ever so gently to calm him down. He walks upstairs to Megumi's nursery to look for the pajamas to put on Megumi.

He looks through the piles and piles of baby clothes. It's never ending because you keep buying more and more. Every time you go to the store you buy more, just thinking of your baby that isn't actually yours. Toji can't even begin to imagine the piles of clothes that are in Misaki's drawers, and he doesn't wish to ever see it or check it out.