BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2014

Chapter 67- B.S.

I glare at him jokingly, but part of me was serious. We had never resolved the cry-in-the-studio incident and I still felt a little betrayed by him, and by the group really. I had just tried to move on from it, but especially for Yoongi who had been my inspiration and rock for so long, it hurt to see him be hypocritical about his own advice. It honestly made me doubt whether he truly meant it.

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We had finished the countdown and the eight of us were in the studio celebrating the new year's. Hoseok was passed out, Namjoon, Jimin and Seokjin were nearly there and Taehyung and Jungkook were egging the drinkers on to play some stupid game. Yoongi was peacefully drinking watching it all unfold a little way next to me after having participated in it for a bit.

"I saw you had some songs in that notebook of yours," he says looking over at me.

"What?" I ask confused because he was being drowned out by the others, but also because the topic was so out of left field.

Yoongi moves closer to me.

"I saw you had some lyrics in that notebook you carry around everywhere," he repeats, "'I'm hesitating because even if I say the truth, in the end, it will all return as scars... I'm going to believe the magic shop will comfort me...' it's some good stuff."

"So, you looked through my stuff," I answer, unimpressed, "if I had looked through your notebook you would be pissed".

"I was just worried," he replies, "you haven't been speaking to us and I know stuff is happening in your life, more than just the Kai breakup".

"No, oh no," I say upset, "you don't get to use that card. And just because I'm not speaking to you, doesn't mean I'm not speaking to anyone. I've told Seokjin-oppa and Jungkook about it... honestly, I just expected them to tell everyone, I'm surprised they've kept it a secret for this long".

"Y/N... just because I don't want you to worry about me, doesn't mean I can't worry about you," Yoongi points out.

"But that's not true! This is a friendship," I say gesturing back and forth between us, "things should go both ways. If I'm not allowed to worry about you, I just feel excluded, like I'm not good or important enough for you to entrust me with what's going on in your life".

"I haven't told anyone else if that makes you feel better," Yoongi replies, "you're not the odd man out".

"But I am! No one seems to trust me enough to talk to me about anything actually important," I pause, realizing he was getting me to open up and I wasn't going to let everything out if he had given me nothing. I was set on this friendship being reciprocal and I for sure didn't like Yoongi's hypocrisy.

"No, I'm not speaking to you about this," I say getting up, "not when you've admitted to your hypocrisy yourself".

"Don't do this Y/N," Yoongi rolled his eyes, "this is so immature, it isn't like you".