Cat's meow

13 0 0
                                    

Chat Noir: My lady, we need to break up!
Ladybug: Chat, we are not dating.
Chat Noir: Then let's date!

......

Adrien: I want a hamster.
Plagg: You need to look after him, clean up, feed him, change the water, play with him.
Adrien: I want to become a hamster...

.....

Marinette: Emma, someday you will grow up to be a big girl...
Marinette: like your dad...

......

Chat Noir: Hey Mari, what will you reward me with if I eat all the croissants in 5 mins?
Marinette: With a concussion.

......

Adrien and Marinette: We decided to get married!

Nino [to Marinette]: Oh, how sweet! Congratulations, Mari!

Nino [to Adrien]: Dude, you're getting married?! What the f***?!

.....

Marinette: Adrien!

Marinette: Nice to fancying, I'm totally into you!

Marinette: I mean... nice to see you, I'm totally into fancying!

Adrien: (supportively) Marinette

Adrien: Don't try to put words into sentences

Adrien: It's just not your thing

.....

Marinette: Will you eat?
Chat Noir: No! [turns away with an offended look]
Marinette: You won't eat croissant or macaroon?
Chat Noir: [still with a pouting look] Croissant
Marinette: You won't eat one or two?
Chat Noir: Two

......

Adrien: What's that downstairs?

Adrien: A fire alarm?

Plagg: Yes.

Plagg: But the floor is not hot yet.

Plagg: So we can take your time.

....

18+ content, sorry(but also not coz Wattpad ruined us all)
CN: hey what are you up to?
Mari: just finished masturbating. It makes me feel so relaxed, so I can go to sleep easier
CN: awkward
Mari: shit. I meant menstruating
CN: not any less awkward
Mari: OMFG I meant meditating. What is wrong with this phone

.......

Shadow Moth: I have lots of ideas how to defeat you

Ladybug: Trouble is, most of them suck

.........

Felix: You are charming.
Lila: Unfortunately, I cannot thank you with the same compliment.
Felix: Just do as I did: lie!

......

Marinette [to Chat Noir]: I'd love to invite you to come in and have a drink

Marinette: but I'm afraid you'll agree

....

Chat Noir: Distract him!
Ladybug: How?
Chat Noir: Well, use your feminine charms.
Ladybug: Ok. I'll try to give birth?%^&*

.....

Chris Lahiffe: Being a boy is a question of gender
Tom Dupain: Being a man is a question of age
Felix Graham de Vanily: Being a gentleman is a question of choice
Gabriel Agreste: Being an asshole is not a question at all

.....

Adrien [calls 911]: Hello, I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Adrien: Two girls are in fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Adrien: The ugly one is winning.

....

Marinette: when I'm nervous, I start baking croissants at home until the whole kitchen is littered with them
Adrien: next time when you are nervous — could you come to my house?

....

Jagged Stone [from the stage]: Are there any decent people in the audience?!
A couple of voices from the audience: Yes! There are!
Jagged Stone: WHO LET THEM IN?!?!?

....


Incorrect MIRACULOUS SHITPOSTWhere stories live. Discover now