i had a reason for leaving the hideout but whenever id try to focus my mind on the mission i had been set i would only think of her.
most days i felt numb but today just felt off, like something important was missing from it.
when i put on the helmet it smelt exactly like her, my thoughts seemed to flood with memories of her.
things that i didn't even know i knew about her seemed to come flooding into my mind; like her birthday, her favourite colour and shit like that.
it made me wonder how much the bitch actually meant to me when she was never supposed to be all that special in the first place.
i only spoke to her to lure her into the league and i only fucked and toyed with her to get her attached yet spending such little time with her made me the one becoming attached instead of her.
i put my foot on the gas and drove.
if she really meant so much to me why did i only notice it now? if she really meant so much to me why didn't i ever tell her about it or mention it.
she was a bit shorter than me with thick curly hair, her lips were always soft despite them always being sticky with lip gloss and her scent was always so soothing.
i liked her hair in braids but i preferred her natural curls and buns.
she was very slow but intelligent, and was the only girl i knew who could have a smoke sesh and not pass out after the second pull.
im not sure why i was listing things about her in my mind but one thing i did know for sure was that not talking to her for the short amount of time made me feel sick.
and because of this before i knew it i was parked outside her house.
i wondered if she was staring outside the window waiting for me. i wondered if she even cared.
i took my usual route and climbed up the walls like i had always done before.
the window was open; that was a good sign.
when i finally reached the lodging of her window i slowly jumped in and saw her passed out laying on the floor with a red disposable in her hand.
thankfully she was still breathing.
i checked her pulse for a second time and picked her up gently, she smelt exactly like the helmet and her breath still lingered of strawberry from the vape.
i took the vape from her hand and laid her down on the bed. i watched as her chest moved up and down slowly and as she mumbled one or two words.
i sat next to her side and put my head close to her lips to try make out whatever she was saying.
a lot of it was mumble and some wasn't even in english but the one word i could pull out from it was my name.
she'd constantly say dabi over and over.
this made me feel as guilty as a bitch.
"shes made me this fucking soft."
i spoke to myself under my breath in frustration and got up to leave. but before climbing back down i got close to her ear and whispered something to her.
"my names touya.. toya todoroki."
i instantly regretted what i had done when she finally fell silent and stopped mumbling. all of the regret soon left though when i head her mumble my name.
not dabi, but my real name.
i put her vape in the top draw and slowly climbed back down the side of her house.
i got on my motorcycle and drove off to complete whatever mission shigaraki had set for me.
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