More Than a Contract (mxm)

Part 10: "You Really Are a Brat"

After approximately five minutes of moping around in my apartment, I pull myself together, put some things in a bag, and get out of there. I call Lisa, who answers on the second ring, asking if I could stay at her place tonight.

She says of course.

It's pathetic that only after two weeks of being Jaxson's sugar baby, I have to resort to running away and hiding from him.

But I have to think.

Lisa's apartment is colorful, just like her. There's knick-knacks everywhere, and throw pillows, and interesting antique-looking furniture. She says it belonged to her grandmother, who moved to a house in the 90s, but she kept this place and now it was Lisa's. I smile and nod as she tells me this.

I'm comfortably nested on the sofa while she makes some sandwiches in the small kitchen nearby, even though I told her I'm not hungry.

"So..." she says. "Care to tell me what the hot guy did?"

I've only told Lisa that Jaxson and I are together, nothing more.

I shrug. "I think we're very badly matched."

"Aww honey," she says, joining me on the sofa with the sandwiches. "I'm sorry, you seemed to really like him."

I shrug again.

"Why are you badly matched?"

"I don't know... he wants more of a sexual relationship while I can't turn my brain off and keep thinking maybe... I want more."

Ugh, I hate saying this.

She nods. "I get it. I mean, a guy like him, he's probably used to having fuck buddies, right? But I know that's not your style, so you shouldn't do anything you don't want. Good on you for re-examining things."

If only it was this simple...

"Yeah," I say weakly.

We chat some more, laugh some, and even end up watching some Friends, but soon I'm exhausted, so we turn in for the night.

In the morning, the calls and texts start early, but like last time, I ignore them. I need some time to pull my head out of my ass and think about this logically, and if Jaxson's unhappy about not having his toy to play with, well, tough luck. He can find another toy, surely. What's a measly little contract?

I don't have work today, so I just spend it studying up on my modules and looking at Sugar Daddy/Baby forums, reading confessionals. I don't know why I haven't done this before, but I need to understand the dynamics better. While I'm not sure I'll even continue this with Jaxson, I just need some outside perspective. Sam knows more about this than I do, but he's so different from me that I really don't think he can help in this case. So I turn to strangers.

There are all kinds of stories – horror stories about Babies robbing Daddies, of Daddies keeping Babies on the side while they're married with kids in a nearby town, and so on. Most accounts are written by Babies who are venting their frustrations or trying to gather information.

There's one post by a Baby who fell in love with his Daddy, only to find out that the whole time his Daddy had been sleeping with tons of other Babies. He asks why a Daddy would even keep and pay a Baby if he's going to sleep with others on the side and lie to said Baby. It's jarring. Like all of my fears staring at me from the screen, making me ask questions and fueling my doubts and fears.

I don't want to fall for Jaxson, he's the worst bet when it comes to anything romantic, but I could never separate my body from my mind, I could never keep sex and my heart in separate compartments.