weak ➸ camren

chapter 17 ➸ do you trust me?

She watched Lauren look down at the ground nervously and suddenly grew anxious. What was bothering the older girl? She didn't have a free hand, so she laid her head on the girl's shoulder, hoping to calm her down in some way.

"It's stupid..." Lauren sighed and shook her head. "I went home to make the food, and when I checked on Elvis, he wasn't breathing," she bit her lip.

"What?" Camila lifted her head up and looked at Lauren, and then suddenly a wave of guilt washed over her. "I-I was just about to feed him when... w-when I..." she looked down at her cast and shook her head. "I'm so stupid."

Lauren quickly turned and cupped Camila's face in her hands, taking both of them by surprise. "No you're not, okay? Don't blame yourself. Please."

Camila just stared into her emerald green eyes, completely entranced by them. She took a deep breath. "But then why were you crying?" she asked quietly.

Lauren sighed and pulled her legs up on the bed. Camila laid her head back on Lauren's shoulder, trying not to scare the older girl by making eye contact. She knew Lauren needed her space when she got emotional.

"I-I don't know... I just... If I lost him because he didn't get enough food, then what happens when you..." Lauren's voice cracked and she brought one of her hands to cover her mouth.

"When I...?" Camila tried to urge her to continue. She was not increasingly curious.

Lauren took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. "What happens if you... if you don't get enough to eat... and t-then you..." Lauren shook her head and brought both hands to cup Camila's face. "I can't fucking lose you," she said shakily, trying to hold back tears.

Their eyes met and Camila's breath caught in her throat, realizing what Lauren was hinting at. "I-I'm trying," she whispered, shivering when Lauren's hands left her face and moved to smooth out her hair.

"I know," Lauren sighed, running her fingers through Camila's wavy hair. "That's all I can ask of you, I-I shouldn't have said anything..."

"No," Camila lifted her head so she could see Lauren better. "I want to know... I didn't think I mattered to you that much," she swallowed hard, wishing her arm wasn't broken so she could comfort Lauren in some way. "I don't like it."

"Don't like what?"

"Mattering to you," Camila said honestly. "Because I don't want to hurt you. And if someone matters to you, you give them the power to hurt you," she sighed and shook her head, knowing that Lauren had all the power to hurt her.

"It all depends on who you trust with that power," Lauren replied, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Camila's ear, leaving her hand lingering under her chin. "I trust you."

Camila shivered, feeling the same tension fill the room as it had twice before. Her eyes flickered down to Lauren's lips and she felt her stomach flip. "I-I trust you, too."

Their faces were inches apart now, and Camila was eternally grateful that she wasn't connected to a heart monitor, otherwise she'd have a lot of explaining to do.

"Do you trust me?" Lauren asked quietly, glancing down at the younger girl's soft pink lips. All of her willpower had left when she allowed herself to be vulnerable in front of Camila.

Camila nodded, answering Lauren's silent question. Their faces lingered hesitantly for a few moments before Lauren's other hand came up to cup the other side of Camila's face. Time went in slow motion for Camila as the dark-haired girl leaned in, capturing the smaller girl's lips in her own.

The kiss was short, lasting less than a few seconds. It wasn't deep and passionate, but it stood for something greater, both girls were aware of that. There was silence between them when the kiss broke.

Camila subconsciously went to reach for another cracker and furrowed her eyebrows. She looked back down at the container and realized there were none left. Lauren must've noticed too, because there was a soft giggle from next to her.

"I-I didn't even realize..." Camila mumbled, turning the container around in her hands and then bringing one of her hands to feel across her stomach. She suddenly felt increasingly sick.

She tensed when she felt the other girl take her hand, prying it away from her abdomen. Lauren held Camila's hand in between her own and gave her a soft smile. "M'proud of you," she whispered, glancing at the clock. "Let's go home."

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a/n: the moment we've been building up to is finally here!! hopefully it was worth the wait. let me know what you think bbies!

- lena (@lenajfc on twitter, txrches on tumblr)