Wish I Was Home

Harry

"Talk to me Lou," I begged him as we sat in our room alone. "You can tell me anything you know that."

"It's not important," he said looking up and in my eyes.

"It's important to me," I told him.

"I have to behave," he said. His eyes full of sadness as he looked at me. "Or our group will become just the four of you. That's all I'm gonna say about it though."

"Is the article about you?" I questioned and he looked away from me.

He nodded and stayed quiet for a long while. "It is. But, it's not like they put it in there. They made it sound like I was trying to hook up with all the boys and I wasn't. I was just being myself. Apparently that isn't allowed."

Once Louis came out of his shell he was a mess and hard to contain. He laughed at inappropriate times, he ran around like a crazy person at times, and he loved to pick at me, not in a mean way but in a different and sweet way. He was sassy to everyone from the other contestants to the judges on the show.

I had no idea what was going on in his mind so I put my arm around him. "It'll be fine. At least you're back now and I have my best friend back."

He smiled up at me. "Thank you Harry, for accepting me just how I am."

"What do you mean just how you are?" I asked him. "You are Louis and you are perfect to me."

Louis wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tight. "I'm so happy we met each other." He told me.

"Me too," I agreed and held onto him. I loved holding Louis so I did it every chance I got. "What if we never met each other here?" I thought out loud.

"I would have have found you anyhow," he told me making my stupid heart skip a beat. Why was I so attracted to him? Why do I want him more than I've ever wanted a girl?

Because you like him Harry! Shit! I did! I thought.

I knew at that moment what I was feeling for Louis went beyond infatuation and way beyond friendship. I knew how I liked him. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss a boy!

I knew Louis liked me but I wasn't sure how he liked me. I was afraid to reveal my true feelings for him but something told me he felt the same way. He was always touching me, playing with my hair (even though sometimes it did annoyed me), and some of his touches felt more than friendly.

I was still trying to fight my feelings for the older boy and let them label me on the show as the "womanizer" or "ladies man". I hated both terms since there was a huge possibility I was at the very least bisexual but at the most gay.

I knew I had a huge crush on Louis. I tried my best to fight it. I wasn't sure if I wanted to have a crush on a boy. I had never had one before him. But with each passing day it became harder and harder to hide my feelings for him. I found myself getting jealous of the other boys when they would touch him or put their arm around him. Even though I knew the other boys liked girls, that didn't stop the jealousy. I wanted Louis all to myself and I didn't want anyone else touching him.

After the show ended (we didn't win) we got the flat at Princess Park together. The other boys also had their own flats but Louis and I shared. Just like we shared everything else from clothes to photo shoots.

We grew even closer after we moved in together. During movies we sat next to each other on the sofa and cuddled under one blanket, when we could have sat anywhere else. The living area was huge and had two sofas and four chairs but we never sat apart. It made me wonder if he had a crush on me or if I was experiencing unrequited love, it was getting hard to tell. I was so damn confused and Louis didn't help anything. He would flirt with me then he would comment on how fit some random actress was.

It was almost as though he was fighting the same internal battle as I so he would comment about a girl.

Once I realized my feelings I wasn't sure how to act around him. I didn't want to make things weird between us.

But Louis, oh Louis. He either liked me back or he liked to tease me. I believe he knew I liked him or he had a feeling I might have liked him. He was so flirty, he loved on me constantly, and he loved touching my hair.

I stood between Liam and Niall Louis stood on the other side of Liam with Zayn to his right on a radio interview and I couldn't keep my eyes off him the entire time.

During a break he looked over at me and his eyes met mine. "Like what you see love?" He flirted.

I turned my head quickly knowing my face was growing red. "Shut up Boobear." I chuckled making a joke of the whole thing. He liked to embarrass me and make my face turn red. He also called me love like a lot! It was like he wanted me to fall for him.