𝙂𝙪𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝘽𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨

Guide to Bears

Polar Bear - "The Wise", fellow polar bears act as the voice of reason in many situations, they act to rein in the chaos of the other bears
Sun Bear - "The Fighter", fellow sun bears have a motto to live by, that is s-c-c-s, short, caca, collected, and shlangen', sun bears may claim to be cool and collected, however they have been known to attack without being provoked
Spectacled Bear - "The Nester", fellow spectacled bears prefer to avoid contact with the human species, they like to nest in trees and nest in general; inferior to the sun bear
Grizzly Bear - "The Observer", fellow grizzly bears usually observe the situations around them, whilst being an observer one may feel simultaneously happy and fearful
Panda Bear- "The Skeptic", generally not an apso bear,

the bears aha bears

how to determine a bear from a non-bear:
bears are swag
bears sit outside during the day
all bears nest
bears are radiant, perhaps even radioactive
bears have the essence of void that lingers for a while
bears like snacks, this is a way you can attract them to your location
all bears are boylikers
bears are goblin-like conesures of shiny trinkets
bears are often fearful of their environments (they react in different ways)
bears eat people, although sometimes they simply hunt for sport

how to reject humanity and become bear:

first, reject humanity
now you have a choice to make
become bear, simple, jump the a pond

How to avoid being targeted by a bear

Do not leave food or other products out in the open
do not have swag
Do not be a swag male (they will boylike you)
If approached, do not run, depending on the species of bear you can scare them away
Sun bear: become taller or offer a delicious snack of American cheese and ketchup
Specktaldneowkd bear: approach holding potential of conversation or simply make loud noises
Polar bear: stab said bear in the umbilical region
Grizzly bear: assign additional schoolwork
You could also just run, bears are usually pretty out of shape

how to bear:

you WILL be swag
perhaps start boyliking
nest frequently and become an adequate nester
embrace the idea of violence, especially to achieve snacking prowess
Hibernate
You should be able to assert your dominance over others
if you become a bear, you will acquire a type that suits you:
to become a polar bear, simply be the most rational
to become a sun bear, perhaps add aggression to your quest for bearly chaos and also be short
to become a spectacled bear, nest more often
to become a grizzly bear, observe your surroundings well

how to buttock soldier:

you must be a soldier to begin with, this is a requirement
Then you must buttock
how does one buttock?
this question is up to interpretation, there is no true definition of buttock, it is an assigned status

how to nest properly:

a true nester must first acquire the proper materials, there is no requirement for nesting materials, but the action is made easier with provided nesting loot

materials for nesting:
blankets
pillows
various clothing items
snacks
entertainment devices
hay
sticks
leaves
stuffing and/or stuffed animals
candy
water
bags to hold nesting trinkets

however well a bear may outwardly nest, nesting is primarily a mood or trait, this is what causes the difference between spectacled bears and other types of bears
to become a true genuine nester one must nest emotionally, therefore nesting physically becomes an action the bears may do even in the harshest of weathers

the APSO:
the APSO stands for the Association of People who Sit Outside, this organization is comprised of people who either can handle the harsher weathers or people who have the will to withstand it anyways or those who sit in the hallway like an absolute coward
in order to obtain and keep APSO status one must sit outside whenever possible, and if not possible there are other ways, the only true requirement is to never sit within the cafeteria, this is considered absolute betrayal

notable bear quotes:
"if they can't smell the kill, they can't see the kill"
"i started to see, i saw, i i i i-i iiii i i sahouk"
"you cannot escape imprisonment"
"doncha love it when your undies are all damp and cold"
"i am not fearful"
"husky"

Bear Exam

Are you a boyliker? a) yes b) yes, platonically c) i hate them
Are you a nester or a percher? a) nester b) percher c) what
Hey shawty, you hibernate? a) yuh b) bruh c) no.
You got games on yo phone? a) yeah wanna see? b) yea c) go away
Food? a) snacks b) souls of the innocent c) you'll never know
Finnish the statement: "This is quite the opportunity to come by-" a) well then, amuse me, surrender is a valid option, i promise i'll be gentle b) *simply begins to fight* c) what pls why are they getting worse why is there a genshin reference stop
Would your friends consider you a brïšk person? a) yes b) no c) stop i don't know what this means