Warriors OC Rater {OPEN}

Glowpaw

Thank you ivebolt for the submission

Name: Glowpaw

Alright, nice name.

Gender: She-cat

Cool.

Age: 9 Moons

Seems right for an apprentice.

Rank: Apprentice

Cool, cool.

Clan: ThunderClan

Alright. Just by the clan, Glowpaw is main-character material.

Pelt: Ginger spotted tortoiseshell tabby with white stripes

Very unique, and I love myself some tortie.

Eye color: Green eyes

OK

Mate: None

Oh, thank StarClan. I've seen a ridiculous amount of apprentices with mates, so this is good.

Kits: None

Good.

Backstory: Glowkit was born to Streamstar and Bumblebee. Glowkit was half Clan between ThunderClan and ShadowClan, with Bumblebee being form ShadowClan. Glowkit was not trusted in some time of her life, but managd to get through tough times. Glowkit snuck out of camp once,a nd saw it was beautiful, but after she saw a fox, she ran back towards camp unnoticed. Her mother asked her where she had been and she answered truthfully. Her mother didn't care but told her not to do it again until she was an apprentice. Glowkit was 5 moons when she was made an apprentice, mainly because the deputy saw the she was skilled, and convinced the leader to make her an apprentice early.  She got the deputy as her mentor, and the mentor taught her how to fight. It took a couple of tries, and some compliments to boost her fighting skills. She eventually started to learn how to hunt.  Glowpaw became friends with some of the older apprentices, Flightpaw, Aspenpaw, and Snowpaw.

Alright, first I want to say that I love that you included a backstory! Second, Bumblebee! I have been waiting and waiting for a cannon character with this name because I absolutely love it. Third, the half-Clan portion is a bit cliche, but I liked the way you wove it into your story, quite expertly at that. Fourth, I like how she got into some mischief and snuck out of camp, but karma came her way and so did a fox. I think my biggest problem with this OC is that she was made an apprentice too early. If she was incredibly skilled, I might consider it, but it says later on that she had trouble with fighting and hadn't learnt to hunt yet. This makes me think that she was like an average apprentice, and didn't need an early ceremony, so consider removing that.

All in all, Glowpaw is a great character. She seems adventurous, quick to learn, a bit mischievious, and honest. Great traits. I think Glowpaw is a 9.3/10. Great character.