Euphoria; (Fyodor x F!y/n)

·8·

You wake up from your nap. You are nearly done recovering, and you get visited by people very often from the ADA. Mostly Kyouka and Astushi, and sometimes Yasano-sensei for checkups.

This one particular day though, you were visited by a man you didn't know. He was apart of the ADA, but he had a different vibe to him. Like you knew him from somewhere.

He had fluffy brown hair, wore a green pendant and a light brown overcoat, and had this carefree energy to him, but it all seemed like a fake façade to you.

You became wary as soon as he stepped into your room.
"Yoo y/n-chan!" he said in a sing-song tone. He looked over to you, confused to why you weren't answering him back.

You were too wary, you kept looking down onto your lap, your hands scrunched in front of you.
So suddenly, this man sat down and put his head on your lap to meet your eyes. 

"I said hello y/n-chan! You should learn to reply to your elders!" he said teasingly, though you were older than him by a few years.

"Hello, um.." you hesitated 
"Oh right! You lost your memory hehe. My bad for forgetting!" He said
"The name's Dazai. Osamu Dazai" Said this man- Dazai.

"It's good to meet you Dazai-san." You say without meeting his eyes.
You were sweating heavily and your heart was pounding. You didn't like this Dazai person. 
You were very wary.

He stayed on your lap for a second, staring into your face in silence.
Then he got up, and straightened himself on the chair he was sitting beside your bed.

"Ahem, y/n-chan, you seem awfully quiet." He said
...
You were quiet, you didn't want to speak to him, but you didn't want to tell him to get out either.
"My bad.." you say quietly.

"You must be wondering then.." said Dazai after a moment of silence. 
Your eyes stayed on your lap, not wanting any conversation with Dazai.

"Your memories." he suddenly said

You look up quickly to face him, looking him in the eyes.
"Do you know about me before all of this??" You insist. You don't realize how close your face was to Dazai's.

 "Ara ara y/n-chan, take things slowly for once! Always worked up like back then." He said with a chuckle.
"M-my bad, Dazai-san." You stuttered as you pulled yourself away from him.

"If you wish to know anything, meet me after you get discharged tonight. Behind the ADA building." He said winking at you, as he gets up from his seat.
"Later y/n-chan!" 

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You had many visits after that incident. Kyouka and Astushi coming in and asking how you were doing. 
Yasano-sensei coming in to checkup on you like usual. 

The moon came, spilling all over the room, onto your hands.
The big bright object in the sky reminded you of someone, the person with the blurry face before you remembered. 

Suddenly, a headache hit you like a ton of bricks. It was so sudden you thought it could've actually been a bag of bricks.

You get up from your bed and put on a coat and a pair of sandals and you head out. 
The night breeze was chilly, and you shiver in your hospital gown.

You arrive at the ADA and you walk behind it, to find Dazai waiting there for you. He was playing with his green pendant as he watches you walk towards him from the corner of his eye.

"Y/n-chan! You cameee!" he says gleefully. He hugs you, but you feel very uncomfy and giggle out of habit.
"hello Dazai-san." you say awkwardly.

"So.." he says while backing up from you. "What do you want to know exactly?"
"Everything." you state firmly.

"Oohh~ showing a brave face aren't you? Are you ready for it though?" He says teasingly, but suddenly his face and tone hardens and he becomes serious. "Don't take more than you can chew y/n-chan" he says firmly.

"I'm aware, so please Dazai-san, throw everything at me!" You say while bowing.
"yosh! lets get this started then!" Says Dazai with a grin.

Dazai skims lightly on your past, and how you use to work with the Port Mafia, what your ability was, how you had become good friends with Kyouka back in the Port Mafia, how she tried to get you to join the ADA. 
And not to mention, you had an obsession with capturing a man named Fyodor Dostoevsky, for him to notice you, and how much of an idol he was to you.
But a certain Port Mafia member was slightly interested in you, and according to Dazai, that certain Port Mafia member was very special, and hardly showed any interest, almost always aggression towards anyone, and for him to recognize you, it was news.
But you almost seemed too obsessed with Fyodor to even notice about that Port Mafia member, according to Dazai's information. Kyouka and the others tried so hard, running after you constantly to try to get you back to the ADA, for you to join them, but you didn't want to even go near them anymore. 
You were too tainted on the idea of being with Fyodor, it was unhealthy, like you had no life. You didn't honestly, as you were an orphan, who killed your own family for the fun of it.

You can't believe your ears. All of this was supposed to be..real??!
You can't, you just can't.

In the middle of Dazai talking about your past, he notices that you were sniffling quietly, hiding behind your hair. It was almost too quiet in the city at that time of night, and your sniffles could be heard.

Out of nowhere, Dazai pulls you into his arms, and you start bawling suddenly. 
Dazai has a surprised but concerned expression on his face as he lets you cry in his arms, but he doesn't seem to mind it much, and neither do you.

"It'll all be okay, I promise. I told you it would be a lot to take in..!" He says teasingly.
You keep crying onto his arms, but slowly, you find yourself falling asleep.

"Yare Yare" Dazai sighs.
He carries your sleeping body in his dorm room in the ADA building, covering your body with his oversized coat and walks out.

As a tear rolls down your cheek, you start breathing slowly again, relaxing as the open window in his room brings in a cool breeze, the stars shining, and someone's wind-chimes on their front doorstep twinkles. 

I hope..I find you..