13. Keeping secrets

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Han seojun was strolling the streets lost in his thoughts when he heard painful hiccups and sobbing. A girl was crying hysterically he walked farther in the direction where the sound was coming from and he saw her sitting on the wooden bench in the playground, her face was hidden in her palms. Han seojun walked closer to her, he was standing before her now "Gwaenchana?" He asked her, Ji-ah recognized his voice, and she slowly pulled her hands away from her face, wiping her face she looked up at him.
Han seojun was shocked to see her, he has never seen her in such a vulnerable state, her eyes were puffy from crying and she was failing to control her sobs
She wiped her face and shifted her gaze to her feet, fumbling with the sleeves of her hoodie, as she avoided his gaze.

After a few moments of silence, Han seojun sat beside her on the bench, her hiccups were the only sound audible at this hour. " I don't know what's wrong and I don't know how to comfort you... "Then don't, we are not friends anyway" she cut him off and got up to leave, as if on reflex, Han seojun got up quickly and blocked her way. "I'm sorry about what I said, I was just angry you know that I didn't mean any of that I know that you know that, you can never pretend to care, it's a trait which can't be fainged" He said, Ji-ah could hear the sincerity in his voice and it made her cry harder, she was just so hurt that even his sincere support made her cry.
"Yah! Don't cry!" Han seojun pulled her closer, Ji-ah put her head on his chest and cried her heart out. He didn't know what to do, so he just patted her back awkwardly.
They both were now sitting on the bench, they don't know how long it's been, her tears are stopped now only being replaced by painful sobs. Han seojun is extremely worried right now, he can't hear her anymore it's hurting him now. "Yah! Please tell me what's wrong? Please!" He is pleading now. Ji-ah inhaled sharply, her throat feels so tight, that it was physically painful for her to speak.  "Halmeoni! She... - sobs- she lied to us, She's not ok - her voice broke- she's suffering from a lethal heart condition - sobs- she told your mom but didn't tell me" she couldn't speak anymore as she broke down into tears again.  "What?" Han seojun was not expecting this, his mother just recovered from the death bed, and now his halmeoni. Why is this happening to his family?  He felt like he was slapped by life, hard right on the face, But he can't crumble Right now, not in front of her so he took in a sharp breath. Getting up from the bench, he outstretched his hand towards her, gesturing her to take it, "Get up" he said, she looked at his hand for a few seconds and then put her hand in his hesitantly.

"Where are we going?" She asked him, her voice relatively stable now because of his surprising actions. He didn't reply to her and they just kept walking across the streets hand in hand until they stopped in front of his bike. She looked at him with a  puzzled face, he sat on his bike, put on his helmet, and tapped the space behind him, "Hop on! we're going for a ride" he said looking her in the eyes. "We shouldn't do this, your omma won't like it," Ji-ah said shaking her head in a negative way. "They kept a secret from us, we can keep one too," he said but she still looked hesitant, contemplating the consequences, but looking at the bike she really wants to ride on it, she wants everything else to drown out in the roaring noise of the bike's engine, she wants to mute every feeling right now "Are you coming or not?" he pulls in the gear and turns the bike about to leave her, of course, he's not going to leave her behind but he pretends to do so "Ok ok ! I'm coming" and he smiled, exactly what he wanted, she came closer just about to sit behind him when he reached out his hand and pulled her scrunchi out of her bun making her hair fall down on her back "Much better!" he said and moved his head to the side gesturing her to sit,

 "They kept a secret from us, we can keep one too," he said but she still looked hesitant, contemplating the consequences, but looking at the bike she really wants to ride on it, she wants everything else to drown out in the roaring noise of the b...

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she hopped on the bike, putting her hands on his torso, his muscles tensed at her touch but he soon relaxed and kick-started the bike. The bike started moving and Han seojun applied brakes and the bike came to a halt making Ji-ah collide with Han seojun's back and then the same thing happened over and over again. Han seojun applies brakes so frequently that the bike seemed like it was break dancing, pushing her forward every other second, it was like riding on a camel's back, moving to and fro constantly. "Yah! stop that" Ji-ah told him, but he let go of the brakes again, causing her face to get smashed against his back, she asked him to stop but he kept doing it, and a chuckle escaped her lips, he chuckled as well and after a minute they both were laughing. She punched his shoulder "That's enough " her voice playful. He listened to her this time and the ride began. They drove through the whole city, passing by the flyovers and crossing the underpasses, Han seojun couldn't see her cry, he genuinely cared for her and he realized it when he saw her break down like that so he offered her a ride because he remembered how she talked about loving it with so much joy in her eyes, they were so similar in so many ways,  refusing to break down until the last straw. Han seojun felt her head against his shoulder and smiled. Ji-ah also had a smile on her face as she automatically rested her head on his shoulder like it was the most natural thing to do, with her eyes closed, she sighed in contentment as she felt her hair swaying in the air, the only thing she could feel was that cold wind hitting her face and Han seojun's warmth as the buzzing sound of the bike muffled all her troubled thoughts.

After about an hour or so they came back and the bike stopped at the front of Ji-ah's porch rather than at a distant street. She got off the bike, and faced the main door when she suddenly turned around to Han seojun "I don't think I can face her, I misbehaved so much, I was so harsh on her ottoke!!?" she said on the verge of crying again. " Yah! don't get paranoid she's your halmeoni she'll forgive you, she knows that it was pain, some of us let out our grief in the form of anger," he said and Ji-ah understood, he was talking about himself, he reached for her shoulders and squeezed them looking her in the eyes, "Don't think too much just go" he turned her around by her shoulders and pushed her towards the door. Ji-ah turned around again "Are you not going to come in?" she asked him, she wanted his support, she can't do this without him "Ani! you two should talk alone, I'll visit tomorrow" he told her, she didn't press it any further and nodded "Gumawo! for everything!" she said with a sad smile. "That's what friends do Ji ah-ya!" She stared at him with wide eyes, and he ignored her reaction "Just call me if you need me" he said but she chuckled at this, "What?" he asked her, "We don't have each other's numbers" she told him for a fact and they both chuckled at his dumbness, they exchanged phone numbers and han seojun went back to his house leaving Ji-ah standing at her door, which she didn't have the courage to open. She punched in the code and exhaled sharply as she entered her house. "Here goes nothing!"

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