I Can See Straight Through You | CHONI |

Eighteen

'I know,' Toni whispered, it wasn't a lie and she didn't want to make any promises she couldn't keep.

Silence settled between them, they were so close but so far away at the same time.

'What I said was true though Cheryl. No matter what happens I want you to know I was telling you the truth'.

'So was I,' Cheryl said quietly, Toni couldn't see but she knew the redhead was crying.

The pain in her chest was almost unbearable, she just wanted to wrap Cheryl in her arms and never let her go but she was scared too.

'You could stay with Tabitha you know? Technically Fenn doesn't know you're here,' Cheryl said.

'I'm not leaving you Cheryl. Tabitha will look after Anthony and he's safer away from me right now'.

'And what about Fangs?'

'I really hope we can save him because he doesn't deserve anything bad to happen to him'.

'Will you tell him what happened between us?' Cheryl asked, 'I'll respect your choice if you don't want to'.

Toni let out a breath before turning on her side, 'I don't know'.

'I understand Toni'.

'No it's not that. I've had my doubts about my relationship with Fangs from the moment we got together, I think I was confused. I was a new mother and I thought it was the right thing to do but I was wrong. The way I feel about him is completely different from the way I feel for you. I can't control it even after all these years. I should feel bad for kissing you while all this is happening... but I don't'.

Cheryl didn't say anything as Toni spoke, she had no idea where the brunette was going with this but she stayed quiet.

'I know things are difficult right now, but I really do love you Cheryl. I'm not saying any of this will be easy and there may be times we can't stand to be around each other but I want to try. I know a lot has changed, I have Anthony now and you have Britta but I want to be with you Cheryl, I really do. I'd do anything for you'.

Toni's heart was in her throat as she waited for a reply from the redhead.

'And what about the true love thing? Doesn't that scare you?' Cheryl asked.

'Yeah, it scares the hell out of me but I always knew you were the one for me Cheryl'.

'And what if it all goes wrong?'

'We can cross that bridge if we come to it. But you're worth the risk'.

Toni heard Cheryl let out a breath, 'I just don't think I can go through losing you again'.

'We can't let fear rule our lives but it's up to you Cher. I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything you don't want to. I'll wait for you if you need more time'.

Toni felt Cheryl shuffle onto her side, 'I just think we need to make sure we're sure before we go any further. Not because I don't want to but because I want to be sure that this is what you want. That I'm what you want'.

'You are what I want,' Toni said taking Cheryl's hand in her own, 'but take all the time you need'.

'What about Fangs?'

'I need to talk to him when this is all over. I hope we can remain friends but I don't how he'll take it. I just need you to trust that I'll do right by you'.

'Okay,' Cheryl whispered.

She wanted nothing more than to jump in with Toni head first but she wasn't a teenager anymore, she was more cautious, she had to keep her heart safe.