Kiralik Ask One-shots

Part One: Lost

2.5 years after the wedding

Omer is walking down the streets of Paris thinking of the old times. Today was the day he should have been immensely happy. Today his paintings were exhibited in one of the greatest art galleries in Paris. So many people visited, some even bought his art; which steamed from the darkest place of his heart. He should have been happy, celebrating it with his university mates. He should be feeling at the top of the world. But all he felt was hollow.

It has been like this for the past 2 and a half years. They say time heals all wounds. After almost two and a half years later and endless miles away from all the people who betrayed him in the worst possible way, he can still feel the pain of the wound caused by his loved ones like it was yesterday Defne spilt all the beans.

At least, in the beginning, he felt red hot anger whenever he thought of the game his loved ones played with this life. Nowadays he seldom felt anything. For the first time in all years his mother left him, he had forgotten her death anniversary. He was so intoxicated that day, so out of it, that he forgot his mother. It actually killed him when the very next day after waking up hungover, he was reminded of it by Sukru who had messaged his condolences. He cried that day. He cried for the small child that died and became mature the day he lost his family. He cried for his mother. He cried for the person he has become. He cried in shame and despair. From that day on, he stopped depending on alcohol to numb his pain. He decided to leave all his bad habits. He stopped all the meaningless flings he had. He decided to do better. To be better.

He started focusing on his painting and put his all into his art. He was somewhat successful and achieved to bring his name among the most coveted artists in the country. But he still felt nothing. Sometimes, when he lets his mind wander to the old times, he couldn't help thinking of her. What is she doing? Is she married? Is she happy? Does she think about him? Does she miss him?

He tries so hard not to remember her, or let his mind gravitate toward all the old memories. But in his sleep, when his mind is not in his control, all he remembers is her. The smile on her face when she looks at him, her eyes watching him so lovingly, her arms always trying to find him and touch him, her curly hair swishing against her back whenever she walked towards him, her strong legs entwined around his body when he is thrusting gently into her.

He always wakes up in a sheen of sweat whenever he dreams of her. His body aroused, his mind unfocused, and his heart aching so much that he curls like a ball on his bed to stop the insurmountable pain he is feeling.

Omer returns to an empty house after his art exhibition. After the day he had, any artist in his place would have been on cloud nine. Omer is anything but. In the past, even though he is very private, he had people to celebrate him and his success. He had his best friend Sinan, his uncle and aunt, he had Koray, he had people from Passionis who loved him all the same, he had Her.

He had broken relationships with everyone when he had left Turkey. Everyone along with her tried calling him. Sinan tried so hard to reach him. But he didn't give an inch. Sinan was even ready to come to Italy in search of him. He refused Sukru to give Sinan his address. Every day Sukru used to tell him Sinan is at his place, asking for his address. Every day he used to receive phone calls from Defne. Her calls and Sinan's efforts at reaching him stopped one day as he refused to even be in contact with Sukru. He broke all the ties with the place which brought so much pain and devastation in his life. In trying so hard to hold his anger, he didn't realise what he had lost that day with his actions.

He sighs deeply and takes a bottle of cola from the refrigerator, and sits on his couch after turning on his tv set. He sips the cola while flipping the channels and suddenly stops when he catches a glimpse of something familiar. He tries to find that exact channel and finally ends up on a Turkish channel. It was a news channel, covering some award function live. He listens to the reporter talking about some company called StillVagonu with little interest.