JUST DIE, MY LOVE

Chapter 4

I woke up with swollen eyes, I Just have 2 hrs of sleep, If you even called that sleep. I need to collect my thoughts and proceed to my agenda for today. My bosses weren't concern of my personal problem . Mainly I'm here for work, it's just that somethings unexpected came. First thing first, let's take a breakfast then proceed to arranging all the documents needed. I wasn't so sure about what's Ace told me yesterday, maybe his just bluffing nonsense to divert my attention, I'm asking him a real reason why he left, maybe his not that ready to talk to me, so he uses one of my weakness, my best friend Cecil, He probably trying to gaslight me, blaming me for loving him, made me feel guilty because of the fact that Cecil, also love him. I can't think clearly, obviously everything is so mess up. Last time I talk to Cecil was on a year end party when we were on our 2nd year of highschool. It's was a chilly night we were walking home I've spouting nonsense about my daily life how my mom urge me to go to nursing school or how my brother always took my things and snacks, it's was a normal rant day for me, and knowing Cecil she will listen and then mock me after. But that night she just listen

"Cecil is there a problem" I asked curiously

" Nothing it's just that Mom told me too study well, you know my grades weren't exceptional, but I'm trying my best hahaha"

" What? Your grades aren't exceptional?! What about mine hahaha"

Cecil was a studious kid, She is also generous, kind and pretty. If given a chance to switch bodies, I definitely choose Cecil's.

"Look Cecil you are doing fine, I know Tita is expecting much more from you but you are good as you are right now. You are doing your 101 % to please her" I sarcastically replied

"Thank you, But I think I'm not doing enough" this crowd pleaser dumb ass, not doing enough? she always took extra classes to advance some subjects to our curriculum, been on some clubs for math, English and Science. On the top of our batch and learning some foreign languages in her free time. Where is not doing enough in this????

"You know what? between the 2 of us I think I'm the Idiot one, but I'm not dumb as you hahahaha" I laugh it out cause this bitch will definitely think she's not good enough

"Yeah I know hahaha"

That was a really fun night we had ice cream on our way home, she mock me for being dumb for not hiding my snacks properly. After that day I've never heard about Cecil. She was gone for almost half a year. I always text and email her, she said that her mom sent her to a conference for advance technology summit that was held out of the country, she also introduced to some of her mom's friend. Cecil's mom was a social butterfly, in ever country she travelled to, there will be always one she called bestfriend, I think that's adorable and funny at the same time. In the span of 6 mons I haven't seen Cecil.

She came back one evening, after a long time since I saw her, I was about to approach her when mom called me to dinner. Maybe tomorrow will be great since she's back, I thought in the back of my head, I sleep peacefully that night. I should have, because after that, Cecil was gone, she left and will never come back.

I never had a chance to talk to her, that morning i woke up with the loud siren of ambulance and the hailing voice of Cecil's mother. Nothings seems to sink in to me that time, I don't know how to react.

When everything settled down i followed Cecil's mom to the morgue, she actually came to our house to personally ask me to accompany her . Just Cecil and Mrs. De Silva were living on that house, Her father was long gone, i cant even remember Mr. De Silva's face, But for Cecil her memories on her father was as vivid as if he just left yesterday.

It was the longest 30 mins ride I've ever had. My hand was shaking as i was walking on that quiet long hall. At the end of the hallway a wide door open for us. Mrs. De Silva was sobbing again. Yesterday i was looking forward to see Cecil but now, I just wanna runaway. As we slowly approach the door my tears started to fell down. Its not happening Cecil is still alive maybe this was all a nightmare, this will end, please someone wake me up, I cannot lose my best fried just like this. Its unfair i don't deserve this. But when the door open i saw my bestfriend lying on that cold stainless table with white cloth covering from his nape to foot. That's when it hit me. My bestfriend will never come back. I already lost her.

"No --- no this cant be happening, No---" i cried hard, those 6 months longing for her ended like this

"This so unfair" i murmured

My feet were glued on the entrance of the door, i cant find the courage to took a step forward. Im shaking, i started to feel cold, my feet, my head, i cant feel them. The only thing that bring me back to reality was the loud crying of Mrs. De silva

" Ms. Mayari whats the file name again?"

That memories flashed again, the day Cecil Died,

"Magazine 201" I replied

Im at the main office of the magazine checking the file that Mr. Dela Rama talks about. I just need to proof read it then directly sent it to him. Then wait for his instruction in some adjustment that can be done only here in paris for example extra shot from certain areas or local food delicacies. If the project is done and Mr. Dela Rama is satisfied with the adjustment i can flew back to the Philippines.

" Thanks Annie i will inform you if Mr.Dela Rama approved it"

" No prob Mayari, So tommorow will be your last day if Mr.Dela Rama approved the project?"

" Yes, Unfortunately hahaha, i loved to stay here in Paris but I cant" i replied

" Thanks again Annie, gotta go"

I was walking in the streets of Montmartre then suddenly a heavy rain fall,i ran as fast as i can to the one of the restaurants nearby. This reminds me of the last day of Cecil funeral, its raining heavy that time, As if the sky mourns with us. The line between death and life was hairlike. You cant tell whether you will live or die tommorow thats why a lot of people are afraid to face death, because they never thought it will approach them so sudden, they actually thought that they will have the same life tommorow. Cecil took his life by overdosage of sleeping pills. That night when i last saw her, she sneak to the local pharmacy and bought those sleeping pills.

I dont know why Cecil did that, i asked Mrs. De Silva a couple of times during the funeral by she just gave me that sad smile everytime. After the funeral Mrs. De Silva just left the city. I never heard anything about her after that day. She disapper without any trace. Those days seem surreal for me until this day.

I sometimes wonder how Mrs. De Silva cope up with that incident she always encourage Cecil to be the best version of herself, sometimes in the point of pressuring her daughter. But i know where Mrs. De Silva is coming from, She just want the best for Cecil, every mother will definitely understand Mrs. De Silva. This year will be Cecils 10th year Death Anniversary. Every year i make sure that i have time to visit her.