Loosing myself again - Y/n and dsmp

Chapter 2 - they cant know

Tw
sh
ED
PLEASE TELL ME IF THERES ANY OTHERS
Y/Ns POV

We arrive just after 5pm, once I've finally left downstairs I set my suitcase and backpack down in Niki and I's room given we're the only 2 females on the trip. Whilst I'm given the chance I bandage up my arms from earlier, painfully I peel the toilet paper off, I know I'll have to get it off at some point, it rips off, I almost cry in pain but thankfully don't, I quickly wrap them up and then change my hoodie before I'm called down for dinner.

"Y/N dinners ready" Tommy says leaving almost immediately after, I have no choice but to follow dreading what's about to happen. I sit down next to Karl and Tommy, I frown once I'm served a whole plate food that looks sickening to eat. I glance at Wilbur across from me, he smiles and holds up 5 fingers, I sigh and quickly take 5 bites to get it over with. I quickly excuse me myself to the bathroom. Once I'm sure the door is locked I quickly stick 2 fingers down my throat and flush my dinner down the toilet. I wash my hands quickly as I hear a knock on the door, shit. I open it "y/n you ok?" Wilbur asks "yeah of course why wouldn't I be?" "Upstairs, my room 1 hour " he says, I know I can't avoid this.

-time skip-

Once everyone's in their rooms sleeping Wilbur drags me upstairs and sits me down on his bed. "Y/N I just want to help you, you can tell me anything, your secrets safe with me" he says I sigh, "I'm not telling you anything" I say coldly hoping he'll go. He sighs "you had a few bites of a burger and after hardly any dinner you immediately have to go to the bathroom, tell me what's going on now" how does someone notice so much in 1 whole day. "I'm not telling you all of it, about a year ago I'm not sure what just something clicked, a voice in my head it tells me I'm not skinny enough , no one likes me that I'm fat and ugly and should kill my self and that I'm a waste of oxygen and if I don't starve myself or throw up food im a failure" I say about to burst into tears he pulls me into a massive hug. I'm lying about how I got my ED but I'm not ready to tell him.

Wilburs POV

I pull her into a massive hug, how the fuck is she going through all of this she just turned 16!! A few seconds later it clicks, the metal in her hand . Shit. She wouldn't would she? I quickly let her go after comforting her "y/n show me your arms" a few seconds later she responds with "I can't" "Y/N show me your fucking arms now" taken aback she moves her arm slightly closer to me "please don't be mad" "I won't" I say as I gently roll up her sleeves, she can't bring herself to look at me, I gasp as bandages cover her entire left arm. In tears she lets me unravel them, From what I saw I could barely hug her she's only 16. "Y/n make me a promise never do this again I can take care of you, your not alone please come to me if you need anything" I say as she pulls out of the hug, I hope I wasn't making her uncomfortable. I see her look at her thighs in panic, are you kidding me how much shit does this kid go through? "Y/N can you show me your thighs please?" I say, through tears and panic she slowly rolls up her baggy track pants revealing much worse scars and cuts covering most of her upper legs. I go to hug her almost in tears but she pushes me away, clearly uncomfortable I let back to her room.

Y/Ns POV
I leave Wilburs room after making a promise I can never keep, with a tear stains puffy face in panic from what I told him, I regret it but he reminds me so much of my father, I'm worried he's going to hurt me if I don't do what I'm told. I slowly sink into bed, luckily Nikis already asleep.