𝐀𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎

𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

    Astrid didn't know what to think of his words. She knew Padme had hyped her up to the boy, but she didn't know that she lived up to those expectations.

    "The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you makes my stomach turn over–my mouth goes dry," Anakin is practically begging and pleading for this to work out, sending sharp knives straight to the Senator's heart, "I feel dizzy. I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss you should never have given me. My heart beats, hoping that kiss will not become a scar. My heart, my soul–it all belongs to you. What can I do? I will do anything you ask."

    The room engulfs in a heavy silence. Astrid's chest heaves as she processes his words, she didn't know she had this much of an effect on Anakin. Every word that fell from his lips pushed her closer and closer, making her fall right into his arms, but she couldn't. She wouldn't ruin Anakin's chance of being a Jedi.

    "If you are suffering as much as I am, tell me," Anakin pleads, desperation gripping his words.

    Astrid frowns and looks down at their hands, "this can't happen, Ani." Her voice was a hushed whisper because she knew if she spoke any louder her voice would crack. She hated doing this, but she had to be selfless, she couldn't afford to be selfish, especially when it came to Anakin's future.

    "Anything is possible, Astrid, please listen..."

    "You're studying to become a Jedi Knight, I'm destined to become the Queen. Regardless of our feelings, I can't let you break the Code and sacrifice your future because of me," Astrid felt a lump in her throat grow and her eyes began to burn. Her heart hurt for saying these words, screaming at her to take them back, but her brain applauded her for doing what was most logical.

    "So you do feel something for me?" Anakin's face lightens up, realizing he might have a chance.

    "Of course I do, I wouldn't have kissed back if I didn't," Astrid sighs, pulling her hands from Anakin's hold and fiddling with the ring on her pointer finger, "but Jedi aren't allowed to marry without breaking the Code. You have such a bright future ahead of you, I can feel it. I'm not going to let you throw it all away."

    "You're asking me to be rational," Anakin almost scoffs, shaking his head. His hands move to cup Astrid's face, his thumbs tracing over her cheekbones. "But that's something I can't be about you. The thought of you not being mine makes me go crazy–I wish I could make that feeling go away...but I can't."

    Astrid reaches up, her hands wrapping around Anakin's wrist, but not pulling them away from her face, "I want to be yours, believe me, Anakin, I really do, but then we'd be living a lie–one that would be impossible to keep. Sola and Jobal already noticed our feelings for each other, and so did Padme before we met. We aren't good at hiding whatever we have going on now, how would we be hiding an actual relationship?"

    Astrid waits for her answers, but she never gets one. Instead, the padawan's hands fall from her face and away from her grip. She could see the hurt clouding Anakin's eyes and the way his lips trembled ever so slightly.

    "You're right, it would destroy us," Anakin stands from the couch, his eyes dipping to the floor, "uh–have a good night."

    Anakin strode out of the room, while Astrid slumped on the couch. Regret filled her head, did she make the right choice? She barely knew the boy and she was already heartbroken, how did she fall so quickly?

    With one last glance at the crackling fire, Astrid stood up and quietly made her way to her room in a somber mood.

◈━◈━◈━◈━◈━◈━◈━◈