We Were Never Meant To Meet Again

chapter 12

I didn't know whether I wanted to run up to her and hug her or just walk out and stop myself from doing anything worse.

So suddenly, I do what I think is the smartest thing and turn right back around and walk back outside. I was not letting myself dampen her mood anymore than I probably already have, I didn't want myself to lash out at her and completely ruin what we have seemed to somewhat build, if we even have built anything. I don't fucking know.

I rush down the pavement, craving just to get home and lock myself in my house until the anger dissipates, but it seemed like fate wasn't on my side today.

"Elijah!" A voice shouts from behind, their loud footsteps getting louder as they reach me.

My body goes rigid, and I stop it my spot.

this wasn't suppose to happen. she wasn't suppose to run after me.

I try to carry on walking, hoping that if she thought that I was ignoring her that she will just go back to the library.

"Elijah." Ruth repeats, but this time she places her hand on my shoulder to stop me going anywhere. "Turn around."

I stay still and close my eyes, sighing out silently, letting my shoulders drop down in defeat before turning to face her.

And for some reason, it felt like I was seeing her for the first time again as my breath gets caught in my throat at the sight of her beauty.

Her pretty, green eyes, soft skin, pink full lips with a little mole placed just above her top lip and dark brown hair.

she was beautiful.

An expression of concern is etched on her face, "What's wrong? You seem stressed." Her eyes flicker across my face, looking for any sort of emotion but I knew she was struggling to find one.

With a bitter voice, I speak, "I'm fine."

Her face drops again slightly but she shrugs it off and continues, "Are you sure? Do you want me to do any-"

"Leave it Ruth." I cut her off, making it clear that I didn't want to interact with anyone right now.

Her movements pause and I watch as her face suddenly hardens.

oh no. 

"No. Absolutely not. You don't get to do this. Act all nice but then act all cold the second I actually make it clear that I give a damn about you." She fires at me, a angry but slightly confused expression appearing in her face. Confused on why I was suddenly acting like this.

Her words throws me off guard, and I could feel my expression break slightly but I quickly clear my throat and shrug the shock off, "I don't know what you mean." I reply coldly.

"You know exactly what I mean Elijah Henley Carter. Don't you even dare think about getting an attitude with me today because I am simply not in the mood." Her words become more heated as she speaks and I could feel myself slowly regretting even coming to the library in the first place because it would of stopped any of this from happening.

I take a deep breath, "Ruth I am not in the mood to talk to you right now." I say as calmly as I can, but my body language says otherwise and I knew she could tell by the way her gaze flickers down to my clenched fists.

Her face scrunches up in anger, "The last few weeks have said other wise as you've basically followed me around like a little dog begging for my forgiveness. And every time I have made it clear that I did not want to talk to you but you didn't listen."

And this time I couldn't ignore the way her words panged at my heart.

she didn't want to talk to me that whole time? not even once? 

obviously we had completely different views on our conversations.

I scoff, "Alright then. If it seems like I'm that much of a fucking nuisance to you then I'll leave you alone, not speak to you ever again." I spit bitterly, covering up any of the signs of hope on my face that she will say no and that she wants me to keep coming to the library and speaking to her, or coming to our spot. "Will that make you happy?"

A hint of hesitation flashes across her face before it's gone in an instant, "In fact, that would make me really happy." She nods.

"Okay then." I nod back emotionlessly. I turn back around, deciding to avoid eye contact with her as I didn't want to have to see how much she probably hated me right now.

There's a beat of silence before-

"Elijah!" She calls to my retreating back, and I silently groan and turn back.

Ruth doesn't say anything but I don't ignore the way she does a double take on my bloodshot eyes and the way her mouth opens as if she really wants to say something, but it never comes.

"Nothing." And then turns around, leaving me to watch her retreating back.

And as I kept my gaze focused on her, glancing at the way she furiously enters the library.

i knew i'd messed up. again.

....

A/N:

here's the new chapter!!

i'm sorry but they had to argue again, this is a slow burn. it won't be an easy ride guys.

and i'm also so so sorry for the fact i haven't updated in what seems like FOREVER.

i've been so busy with a lot in my life right now, so bare with :)

love you all and thank you so much for all the reads and votes.

-b.