The Duty | Marie, Lesbologie

Chapter One : The Start Of It All

           The sun was bright, Antoine de Montigny had a bright smile on his face. He knew that he was going to see, him. His best-friend, like he'd call him in front of other people. The truth is, he was deep in love with him, and hated hiding it. The love was reciprocate, even though David, his lover, was terrified of repercussions. Antoine did not care. He wanted him and didn't think about anything else but their love. Someone gently taped on his shoulder ; finally, he was there, his one and only. His smile got even brighter as soon as their eyes met. They started walking together, not a word was said, they were just enjoying each other's presence. They met on a very beautiful place that they both enjoyed, they were always meeting here, always doing the same thing and the same things happened too ; some old women were gossiping under their tiny umbrella, children were playing with the water and laughing loudly, men were talking about their latest hunt, it was always the same things but it was somehow very comforting ; this time was calm and there was nothing to worry about. But today, Antoine wanted to break the silence, and instead of focusing on what others were discussing of, wether it's gossips or hunt, he wanted to know about David. "What are you thinking about?" He said, which David responded with "You." Antoine smiled, he was also thinking of him, but also what he could do to him, if they weren't here, with all of these people around. He wanted to kiss him badly, and the thing David just said made him want this even more. Sometimes, Antoine couldn't help himself but thinking about what could happen if he broke the rules. If he kissed the one that was so tempting to him, if he showed public affection, and even more brutal, a forbidden type of love between two men. He couldn't help himself but thinking that, he could die, but what is the purpose of living if it's not to live the way we want to?

- I have to go, now. says Antoine.

David stopped walking, thinking he did something bad. Antoine responded saying he was okay and everything was fine, and he went away. He sat on a bandstand, all alone, and looked at the landscape. There was a few people around him, but if he wasn't with Him, he could consider himself alone. Sometimes, when the thoughts of kissing him get too hard, he has to go away, it wasn't the first time this happened, but everytime it did, it ended up as an argument, and both of the lovers were tired of this. But hiding was necessary, none of them wanted to get arrested or give their family a bad name, but even with all of these possible outcomes, their love was too strong to be hidden forever, even tho it had to be. Antoine often wonders how no one ever understood their relationship, how no one ever connected the dots. From the way they look at each other, to the way their hands always find a way to touch each other eventually, or the fact that they both always refused to get married, everything was so obvious, but no one ever questioned anything, it should make Antoine happy but, for some reasons, there was something about all of this that made him mad. He was mad that something as pure as their relationship was constantly being erased, on purpose, meanwhile when he looks at a woman, his mom can't help but mention how she would be a good wife for him, even though he never mentionned wanting one, as if it was his duty.

All of these thoughts have erased the smile that used to be on his face, he was now completely mad and only one person could make him happy again, but everytime he goes away, he feels like loosing him a little. A tear rolls down his cheek, and another one. Everyone was looking at him again but he couldn't control it, he didn't even notice that he was being seen because his sadness was too strong. A sweet hand posed itself on his shoulder again, Antoine turned around and saw the lovely eyes of his lover, he was asking him gently if he was okay. Antoine was too desperate and he was too sad, so, before he even had the time to think about it, he put his lips against his. It was feeling like home, he felt like being only with him at the moment, a world with only Antoine and David. For a couple of seconds, everything felt like Heaven. He could feel the sun on his skin and his lover close to him, it was nothing like the kisses they used to give to each-other, on a private room, with no one near them, not a single noise, the windows used to be closed to feel more protected. But before he had the time to give him a second kiss, David pushed him away, which threw Antoine on the floor. His brain was still in blur from the emotions that he just felt, so everything that he could see was David, standing up, looking at him with disgust, or fear, even. And then, he was gone. He ran away, away from the responsabilities this would bring him. He left Antoine all alone, sitting on the floor, trying to process what just happened. Him too, would like to run away from his responsabilities, but he is surrounded, he has no choice but to accept his faith now.