To Rebuild, Once More

[TW for non graphic suicide attempt in the first few paragraphs after the letter, ends at the short dotted line]

Light,

I'm sorry. You're destined to find out at some point, and though I'd rather not have it be through a letter, I can't bring myself to confess to your face.

Emmi isn't yours. She's the consequence of a terrible mistake. One I was stupid, so, so stupid to make with a man I love. That had me fooled. Our daughter was never ours to begin with. There is another who owns the title as her father.

It isn't you.

You love her; you love every part of her, and of me. Never thinking to imagine that I would ever betray you. But I fell, and I hate myself for that.

It became so obvious through her features, and I wonder why you never questioned about any of them: her hazel eyes, her dark brown, almost pitch black hair; they don't come from either of us. Everytime I looked at her... I doubted myself. That the one mistake, the one night I broke our vow, led to her.

Case in point, I did a little searching. It wasn't hard: I found him, called him up, had the tests done and everything. He was willing to play along despite expressing his dislike for children, saying he was in it only to please me. The results came back yesterday morning.

It's a match.

I'm so sorry, but you deserve to know that this is why I'm leaving. I'm staying with him; he offered a place for me to stay, just me and him. The two of us, somewhere a couple of towns not too far away, so don't worry about me.

The only catch is that I have to leave you and my baby behind. Completely.

I'm a horrible unfaithful wife; I know you'd make me leave either way. And even if you never found out, my consciousness would plague me forever. I left the divorce papers and the baby's documents in a folder on the desk. I've signed any paper that might need my approval. It's all there. I know you'll take care of her.

This is for the best. Tell everyone I'm sorry, tell our friends that I never meant to hurt them, or ghost them in any way. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for this to happen, but it's for the best.

I really did love you Light. And... thank you for everything. Love Em, and raise her right for me. I know you will.

I'm so sorry sweetheart.

-Charli

~

The house was quiet.

Light awoke to a clap of thunder, lifting his head groggily from where he had been asleep on the desk. He took note of the rent papers lying next to him - overdue and out of order - and let out a sigh, running a hand through his messy hair. It was tangled and unkempt, bags under his eyes being proof of the exhaustion that seeped into his bones.

He was tired. Light pushed his chair back, catching a glimpse of the photo on the desk: of himself, of his friends, of her.

It was hard to move so far away from them; they bought a house far from his friends and his sister. But to him it was worth it, as he did it all for her. He vowed to follow her to the ends of the earth, and he did. Their little house along the forest being proof of that. He was loyal, he was naive. He is twenty-eight, he is stupid.