Chapter 11 ~ History Lesson

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"Okay, try this one next." I handed Janet a cupcake.

"Come on, baby. I've tasted six different cupcakes. No more."

"Please, babe. They're for the fundraiser at the school and I want to make sure it's perfect." She rolled her eyes.

"Toni, baby, my Queen. All of the cupcakes are perfect. You're stressing yourself out."

"You're just saying that." She pulled me into her lap.

"Never that. You know how honest I am. Your cupcakes are perfect. Like little bites of heaven."

"Okay." She kissed me. "I still want you to taste this for me." I picked up the cupcake and held it to her lips. "It's red velvet with a chocolate filling and cream cheese frosting."

"Fine." She opened her mouth and I fed it to her. "Mmmm, delicious." She kissed me again and naturally it turned into a makeout session. Her tongue entered my mouth and her grip on my waist tightened.

"Hey, not in my kitchen." The personal chef had come in. Janet and I pulled apart.

"Come on, Maggie," said Janet.

"That's Ms. Maggie to you. Now stop sucking face in my kitchen."

"Sorry, I was just working on my cupcakes. I'll clean up."

"Oh, Toni sweetie, you are fine. It's big head here who causes problems." She hit Janet in the back of the head. "Now get your horny butt out of my kitchen chair before you don't have a tool to use." Janet scoffed. I got off her lap and she went to the other side of the counter. Maggie was the only one of the employees who could talk to Janet and her siblings the way she did. She had taken care of all of them since they were babies. She was originally their nanny but when Janet turned thirteen they made her the personal chef and put her in charge of all of the other employees. They also helped her start her catering company as a thank you. She was like their family.

Janet went back and forth with Maggie. She was acting like a little kid. "But Maggie, why do I have to leave?" She was stomping her feet.

"Girl, don't make me pop you."

"Fine. I'll see you later, baby. I'm going to go to the gym."

"Okay." I wrapped my arms around her neck and kissed her. "Bye."

"Stay beautiful." She tapped my nose and walked out. I felt like a love-smitten school girl.

"I see that smile. New love is such a cute thing." said Maggie. I went and finished working on my cupcakes.

"I know. She makes me feel so happy."

"You make her happy, too."

"Really?"

"Definitely. Dunk and I haven't joked like that in a while."

"How come?"

"We used to all the time. Since she was a little girl, she would come in here after school and we would eat the leftover treats from one of my catering jobs. We would talk and laugh. I was the first person she told almost everything to. I gave her advice about everything. That's my baby."

"Why'd she stop?"

"When she was 15, she got her first girlfriend. She loved that girl and was so smitten. Every time we talked, she shared something new about the girl. I was so happy for her. It was hard for her in school to deal with her body. Especially when a girl in middle school walked into the bathroom and found her fixing herself. So this girlfriend was a big deal. She lost her virginity to this girl and she assured me that she was being responsible. I was happy for her. That was until she came home crying hysterically. She never told me what happened but she slowly pulled away from everyone and stopped being her usual self. One day, I went to her room to check on her and I found her hanging in her closet." Maggie got choked up. "It scared the life out of me. I cut her down and didn't even wait for an ambulance. I drove her to the hospital and carried her into the E.R. myself. She had taken a bunch of pills and hung herself. Apparently, she wanted to make sure it stuck. We waited for hours for them to get everything out of her stomach and then a few days, almost a week, for her to wake up. I barely slept the whole time. When she finally woke up, she told me everything."

"What happened?"

"She found out that the girlfriend was using her for some fetish, then told Janet she wanted to talk and set her up to be assaulted. Not all of the high school kids knew about Janet, so when the girlfriend told her friends, they wanted to see it. So they cornered her in the locker room and messed with her. Her male puberty made it easy for them to make her erect. So one person would hold her down, another would hold her area and another would get on top of her."

"Wow! She never told me that. All she told me was that the girl broke her heart."

"I'm not surprised. It's really hard for her to talk about. I'm the only person she ever told the full story to. All anyone else knows is that the girls took pictures. Her other girlfriends always wanted to know why Janet would never talk about her first girlfriend and they always asked me but I never told them."

"Then why did you tell me?"

"Well, they always asked immediately when they started dating her. You've been with her for weeks and I'm guessing you were willing to wait until she told you." I nodded. "There's the difference. However, she wasn't going to tell you. I know Janet, she needs this push. She won't mind me telling you. I can tell she loves you."

"Love? No, we haven't said that yet. I doubt she feels that way. It's too new." Maggie wiped her hands off and took mine.

"Toni, Janet loves you. She's never been as affectionate with other girls. Her sitting in here, testing your cupcakes for you, even though she knows they're perfect, that's something she would never do for anyone else. She takes you on dates, she protects you. She even moved you in and was willing to let you stay here even if you didn't want to date her. That's how much she loves you." I never thought about it before. I felt tears come down my face. "You love her too, don't you?"

"I want to. I'm just so scared. The last person I loved left a sour taste in my mouth. I don't want to hurt her with false hope."

"Discuss that with her. She will understand. I'm rooting for you guys." She hugged me.

"Thank you."

"No problem." I finished working on my cupcakes while Maggie prepared dinner. We laughed and talked about other things but I kept thinking about what she told me. All the things that Janet has done for me were really sweet. It did show love. Do I love her? Maybe I do. 

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