impossible | 𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙗𝙤𝙤

forty-seven<3

then he hugged me.

and not that i didn't want a hug, but i was SO confused, because tubbo hates hugs.

"aw don't go all soft on me tubs." i smiled against his shoulder.

"shut the fuck up, let me have this"

"alright- alright"

i was looking around over tobys shoulder as we hugged, and currently wilbur and tommy were also in the room, no ranboo to be seen.

well i thought anyway , for a second.

i saw him pacing outside in the hallway, a hand clutching the back of his neck.

i pulled away from the hug and i cocked my head in the direction of the hallway, then looked at toby.

"oh he's- kinda gone insane." tubbo said softly. "he refused to go home and he literally slept on a chair out there last night. i stayed with him too."

my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. "why isn't he talking to me?"

"he thinks you're mad at him."

"what?!" i looked up and he was still pacing. "why?!"

"something about what happened when you last spoke. he wouldn't say"

for fucks sake.

"i'll go speak to him in a second. how are you guys?" i sighed, looking down at the iv tube in my arm.

"i think we're all okay. just kinda in shock still, i guess. do you guys want to come get a coffee with me?" wilbur looked at tommy and tubbo. they nodded. "want one, a?"

"please," i smiled.

i know they're just leaving so ranboo comes and speaks to me alone.

but he doesn't come in my room after five minutes. i lay in silence, picking at the skin around the edges of my fingernails.

i can hear him tapping his foot on something out there.

what do i even fucking say? like... hey ranboo. i got alcohol poisoning and almost overdosed on cocaine. why did i do so many drugs, you ask? because i can't stand the sight of myself in a mirror.

yeah, right.

i accepted the fact he wasn't gonna come into my room, and i just turned over in my bed and closed my eyes. i wish i had airpods right now because some music would be great.

i could only hear the monitor and ranboos foot tapping now.

"ranboo" i spoke, my voice kind of strained.

the tapping stopped.

"i'm not mad at you." i continue, my body still facing the opposite way to... wherever he is.

i heard him get up, and then footsteps walked into my room.

he sat at the foot of my bed, and i still didn't change where my body was lay.

"i didn't mean to be like that last night- i swear." he sounded so exhausted. "i just didn't want you to get ill. to get hurt."

"it's not your fault, if that's what you think."

i moved myself so now i was sat on the edge of my bed, next to him.

he pinched the bridge of his nose. "i didn't even see you pass out athena. you could have died."

"i'm so sorry. i promise you i didn't mean this. i didn't purposely try and overdose. i swear- the bandage- that was an accident."

"don't apologise athena"

we sat in silence for about a minute before i shifted to the side and wrapped my arms around him.

he snaked his hands around my waist gently, pulling my body as close to his as it could possibly get.

he wasn't making any noise, but i could feel tears slowly soaking into the hospital gown thing that i was wearing, which may i add is the most unflattering thing i've ever worn in my life, a bit beside the point but fuck me is it ugly.

i was sat in his lap with my entire body wrapped around him, both of us afraid to let go.

"i love you. a lot. i cant lose you." his voice was soft and muffled.

"i love you ranboo. you won't lose me."

timeskip

will and the others are currently signing the forms so i can leave.

and im currently lay in a fucking hospital bed with ranboo.

not gonna lie, probably not the most romantic place i have cuddled with this guy. but sure.

"i'm gonna talk to you about the bandage and everything else when we're home. i just don't want to do it here." i sighed, my head buried in the crook of his neck.

"mhm" he hummed stroking my arm gently with his hand.

1413 words

this is so sad why do i do this to you guys i'm sorry😭 the heck idk what's gotten into me bro. disclaimer the next chapter is like the last sad chapter. unless you count the very last chapter as the saddest bc it's finally coming to an end. but that means we can welcome the new fanfic:) so yall have a great night and take care of yourselves!

ps: it's currently 4am. my sleep schedule is so messed up i don't even find it funny anymore. all nighter maybe?!?! maybe not😁