Those Ocean Eyes and That Charming Smile

158

"And then they get deleted." I hope

"They get put on a thumb drive and locked in Fury's case files so he can look at the signs of The Winter Soldier waking up." He crushes my wishes

"Sure, maybe I can be activated but I was always knocked out of it halfway through the longer missions or if I was actually hit in the head hard enough." I mumble with a small shrug

"I know you did, sweetheart." He comforts me with a squeeze to my hand. "It's not your fault any of this happened." He reminds me

I sigh as my response and continue walking across the padded floors that feel good on my feet so I take my slippers off and conjure a large fluffy beanbag chair that makes Bucky smile and mutter something about how he's surprised it isn't a hammock and I just laugh because he is and his deep voice sounds comforting which is how I have been describing him lately. When I think he is going to start training, he doesn't and heads off to the refrigerator and cabinet area in between the weapons room and training mats to grab a first aid kit that is a little larger than a regular sized one.

"Want me to take my shirt off?" I ask when he comes back over after it clicks of what's next

"Whatever makes you comfortable." Bucky shrugs and squats in front of my beanbag

"I'll take it off." I decide and cross my arms to strip the large crewneck off my body

"I won't look if that's what you're worried about." He looks up at my eyes as I look down to readjust the loose bra sitting on my bruised chest

"I don't mind." I shake my head and set the crewneck on my lap. "With you at least." I add in a quieter voice while avoiding his blushing gaze

"I'll be soft." He reminds me as he sets the first aid kit to my left and opens it

"I know." I nod and scoot my hips forward so my stomach is flat and open to make it easy for him to move between my legs. "Just don't like it." I mutter as I rest my legs on his waist and keep my hands by my sides while watching him open the large kit. "Mmm." I cringe and look away before he moves it to the floor where I can't see it and lifts a hand up to my face to make me turn and look back at him

"Just look at me, sweetheart." He smiles and rubs his metal thumb along my defined cheekbone

"Okay." I nod and he smiles wider before moving his hands down below the beanbag chair to grab something and when I see the flash of that light blue rubber that is crinkled from being in the same position for a long time, my hand snaps to his wrist to stop him from putting on the gloves. "No gloves." I breathe fearfully when he looks up at me. "Bad memories." I explain quickly and he nods, tossing them away

"No gloves." He agrees and reassures to calm my already racing heart. "We'll use hydrogen peroxide instead of rubbing alcohol so it won't sting as much." He tells me

"What's the difference?" I ask

"Rubbing alcohol kills any infection or starting infection in under ten seconds and smells gross while hydrogen peroxide has a soft smell and does the same just without much of the sting." He holds up both bottles as he speaks and I nod at the descriptions of both

"Can I smell them?" I reach for the alcohol

"Just be careful." He helps me unscrew the cap and hovers his hand over the both of mine when I bring the open top to my nose

I breathe in a pretty big sniff, not thinking it will be that bad but I grimace when the stinging vapor clears my airway and I can feel the shock of the chemicals in the corners of my nose I didn't know existed, behind my eyes, and down my throat that makes me grimace deeply and cough while pushing the bottle in Bucky's chest as he laughs a little but has some concern when a hand presses into my bare stomach. I would totally be laughing too if my mind wasn't sent into orbit it feels when I begin to feel detached from my body and I look all around at the room that does not feel safe to me. It feels like the walls are closing in on me and I can't understand why when my chest goes a million miles per minute and it alerts the soldier in front of me who is ready for any and all things.