Pretenders

Coming Clean

The morning after came faster than Mike wanted it to. As soon as daylight hit his face he groaned. It had only been a few hours since Chester had come back to bed and they'd fallen asleep together, and Mike had to figure he'd only gotten three or four hours of decent sleep.

Now it was time for breakfast, and he opened his eyes to face the day. Everything productive would be on pause until last night had been discussed, until the band had been able to ask their questions and the six of them worked through not only the drama of the evening, but the revelation that Chester was using again.

Fuck I hate that. I really thought he was going to stop, after last time. I didn't think we'd have to tell them. There was an uneasy feeling in the pit of Mike's stomach as he lay there, staring at the ceiling. A lot had been said in the second floor hallway that morning, and Mike wasn't entirely sure what had been overheard by their bandmates. But he knew that everyone but Phoenix knew that Chester had been high in the moment, and there was a lot of explaining to do.

And that was just with the band.

Mike rolled onto his side, his gaze landing on Chester's sleeping face. He was on his stomach, one arm up under the pillow, all his features lax with sleep and breathing through parted lips. He was knocked out, and Mike was hopeful that meant he was sleeping it off. That he would wake up calmer, more reasonable. He's going to hate that they know, too. But we'll work through that together. Everyone will have to stay calm. It's not about what they didn't know, but what they're going to do now that they do know. I know they'll just want what's best for him.

Mike sighed as he reached over and caressed the top of Chester's head lightly. He had no idea how Chester was laying on the big spiral earring still in his ear, but it was obvious they hadn't come out. He could see the one in Chester's right ear, and a brief smile crossed his lips before a frown chased it. As much as he was dreading talking with the rest of the band, he was dreading talking to Chester alone more. He knew the hateful things that had come from his lover's mouth were more the cocaine talking, and not Chester, but it had been difficult to stand there and be accused - again - of categorizing their relationship as a fling. As not important, as meaningless as the blow jobs on the tour bus or fucking Holly Brook. Mike knew deep down that Chester didn't really believe that he was being used, but the insecurity was there. They needed to talk about it. And they needed to talk about how worried and scared Mike felt to see Chester being reckless, getting high.

I'll die if I lose him.

It was a sharp thought and Mike closed his eyes, his hand resting lightly on Chester's skull. He'd already been by Chester's side for one rehab stint, but that had been different. They were only friends, bandmates. This time, if it got that bad, if the drug use got out of control and Chester needed rehab again, it would be worse. It would destroy Mike on levels that he couldn't imagine as he lay in bed next to Chester. They were more now, so much more, and being apart would be devastating.

Mike forced his thoughts to leave that possibility alone, shifting them back to the inevitable questions that would be coming from Brad and the others as soon as he went downstairs. He decided to leave Chester sleeping and hauled himself out of bed to get dressed. His pajamas and t-shirt were next to the bed and he put them on quickly, sliding his glasses on as well. Contacts weren't happening on three hours of sleep, and though Mike hated his glasses, there were bigger worries this morning. Chester's clothes were all over the room and Mike walked around, picking them up and folding them neatly. He left them on the chair next to Chester's side of the bed, jeans on bottom, then the tight black t-shirt, and the belt coiled into a circle on top. He picked up Chester's boots and set them neatly to the side of the chair before he leaned over the bed and pulled up the blankets around Chester's neck. Mike tucked them in gently and leaned down to kiss the side of Chester's face before he headed downstairs.