Shape of a Miracle EP 1 - The Pied Player

The Shimmering Surface.

"Is that a new haircut?"

"Oh this?" she said, fingers fiddling with the side of her fringe "Yeah, well- I guess I was getting pretty tired of the old me... I wanted to try something different!" The nervousness faded from her face and she scootched her chair closer to the table, letting herself sit back.

"Oh, I definitely understand that."

"What a waste of hair!" whined another girl on the other side of the table "it must have taken ages to grow it that long, and you cut it off!".

"I think you look beautiful in a pixie cut."

The girl in the pixie cut sank in her chair, eyes down at the lunchbox she had yet to open. "Oh C'mon girls..." piped in one of her other friends, a girl in a ponytail. Eyes were fixed on the other corner of the classroom. There, leaning against the window pain, stood a boy with sharp features, a much-welcomed sight against the seemingly infinite dreary sky that lingered behind him. The sides of the ponytailed girl's mouth tweaked just a little up "I think we can all crack the mystery as to why our dear friend cut her hair..."

"Maybe we should talk about something else..."

For a moment the girl in her freshly new do sat there, expressionless, clearly taking in what her friend meant by that remark. Then she understood. Turning bright pink, gasping for some sort of retaliation, she was abruptly interrupted by an uproar of laughter from all the other girls at the table. She stood up, looking almost ready for battle, but through her teasing and mocking she couldn't muster up a single defence. She just stood there, in complete silence.

"Are you referring to that cliché in books when a girl cuts her hair for a boy? Come on girls, that sort of thing happening in real life is kind of a rarity."

The girl in the pixie cut shot her head to her best friend and squeezed her hand tight. "Yeah! Yeah! That's right!" She squealed, "I'm so glad you got it, Shoko."

"I wouldn't say that..." shoko mumbled "I just want everyone to get along!"

"Well, don't worry, yourself, Shoko, we're just teasing!" Sang the rest of the girls as Shoko sat down. "Besides..." Chimed in the girl in the ponytail. "Has anyone ever cut their hair for such a dramatic reason? I think it's nothing but a myth!"

"I have."

With her hand raised in admittance, Shoko became the forefront of all the girls' interest.

"OOH!" They cooed. "Has our dear Shoko got a crush? Who is it? Who is it?"

"N-no, I'm sorry." Shoko chuckled "I didn't mean it like that, I have yet to really fall for someone, let alone confess to him!" taking a deep breath, she continued "I meant that I have cut my hair when faced with a big change in my life. A couple years ago, I had to transfer to another elementary school, so I was taken to get a new haircut so I would make a good impression on them."

"What? That has nothing to do with love?" cried her pixie cut friend. "How does that count?"

"On a technicality, I think it may!" another girl proposed ""however, it seems to me you didn't really have a choice in the matter. Isn't the point that the girl cuts her hair of her own volition, as a response or desire for a change in her life. It's meant to be symbolic."

"True, it was my mother's idea to have my hair cut." Said Shoko ""but she wanted to have my hair cut a lot shorter. I actually told the stylist that I wanted a bob, like the ones in the magazines. Honestly, I expected to be completely ignored and get the hairdo my mother favoured - and I would've been completely fine with that - but she didn't ignore me, the stylist actually listened to me. At the end of the day, I walked out of that salon with a bob."

"So you got the do you wanted! You go girl!" they cheered "wait is that why you want to be a hairdresser?"

Bashfully, Shoko nodded "Yeah, but I still have a long way to go!"

Then, everyone laughed. Even the girl in the pixie cut, even the girl in the ponytail, even the girls who still had food in their mouth. Their positive energy was too contagious to resist, and even if you could, why would you want to? Even when one of them accidently knocked some of her chopsticks off the table. She was still laughing as she stooped down from her chair, she was still laughing as she picked them up, and she was still laughing when she looked up and saw Shoko, sitting on the other side of the room, staring at her.

And then she stopped laughing.

It took a moment for Shoko to understand why. She got so caught up in her own fantasy that snapping back to reality felt like being plunged into the unforgiving sea, rocks wrapped tightly around her ankle. The sudden need to gasp for air with only the bleakest parts of the ocean willing to fill her lungs. Reaching up at the waves above, just where the sunlight touches the water's surface, teasing her with shimmering patterns out of her grasp, as that light slowly vanishes from her vision. As she sinks deeper and deeper into the abyss.

In that abyss, Shoko remembered that she wasn't talking with a group of girls she would call friends, nor was she drowning. She was still just sitting at her desk in her classroom, staring at a group of girls she hardly knew sitting on the other side of the room.

Shoko gave a quick, polite smile before standing up and pushing all her books into her school bag. She hoped those girls didn't realise how long she had been watching them, listening in on their conversation. Not that she had much of a grasp on it in the first place.

When she really concentrated, she could just barely catch every other word they were saying over the hustle and bustle of the school around her. But even if the room was completely silent she would still struggle at catching most of their conversation. So, she often relied upon mouth movements and context clues, anything that could aid in her quest of comprehending their dialogue. However, she severely doubted she could even do that. Were they even talking about haircuts? She could never tell. No matter how hard she tried, she would never trust herself.

So, in retrospect, it was only natural for her to start envisioning herself within this half-imagined conversation. She already had to fill in the blanks herself. Why not fill the blanks with herself?

She left the classroom, slowly walked through the hollow hallway outside. She couldn't help but watch the girls through the glaring glass of the classroom windows. The euphoric energy that sparked through the friend group behind her was as vivid as ever, they didn't seem the least bit bothered by her sudden staring earlier. To them it was nothing more than an awkward moment. She was lucky. So, she stood there, holding onto every vibrant smile that oh so easily oozed out of their unknown conversation. However, that too, was only a moment, and as the sun finally escaped from behind the clouds, the entire classroom was engulfed by a blinding light.

It was time to let that moment be a moment. She strove forward, completely calm. As calm as the bottom of the sea.