When Lemon Meets Smoke

the promise of a friend

The black heir released a sigh filled with frustration and moved to sit back on his bed, "I believe you."

Evan exhaled with relief, "What now?"

"Now, I need a joint. I cannot think of a plan when I'm this tense."

After a lengthy period of a rather silent indulgence, Evan decided to speak.

"I thought you were going to murder me without even letting me speak. I wouldn't even blame you seeing as she's your-"

"She's not my anything other than a friend."

Evan glanced up from his spot on the floor that due to his foggy mind, felt more comfortable than his bed or chair, "What?"

The dark-haired boy released a choked laugh, "She is my brother's... my brother is hers. Yes, that feels like the correct way to put it."

Evan frowned, "I'm truly sorry mate, I know how much you adore her. She made the wrong choice."

She made the wrong choice.

Regulus couldn't help but think those words were worlds away from the truth. While the youngest Black had no doubts in his mind regarding the love he felt towards the Gryffindor girl, he couldn't help but think if he had only been looking at a small portion instead of the whole picture.

"No, I don't believe she did," He said almost silently, the corners of his mouth tilting up into a small smile.

Evan heard him loud and clear, "I don't think I understand?"

Images of Adelaide and Sirius flashed through the young boy's mind. He pictured the way Adelaide's amber eyes would light up upon seeing his brother. The way she would lean into his touch, not a drop of hesitation. How her soft smile that was saved solely for Sirius would scream 'I love you' in a million different ways. But most of all, he thought of how his brother, someone who had grown up believing pure love did not exist, at least not for him, reciprocate every single admiring glance and adoring grin. How Sirius would bask in her calming warmth, letting it surround and heal him. How his brother's mind could fill with water, threatening to drown him in the sorrows of the world but she'd be there to pull him back up, without fail.

No, Regulus Black knew that in every universe, in any reality, as long as there was an Adelaide there would be a Sirius to love her with everything in him.

And that is all he ever wanted her to have.

The more he thought about the love his brother had for the girl, Regulus himself believed he was in love with, the more he realized it was not the same. There was no doubt in his mind that he loved Adelaide but it was not in the soul connecting, end of the line, all-consuming way Sirius always has.

Regulus chose not to answer Evan's question, but presented one himself, "Do you believe there is more than one way to love someone?"

Evan seemed taken aback for a moment, collecting his thoughts before he replied, "Yes, I believe there are many ways one can feel or experience love."

Regulus nodded his head and let his back collide with his bedspread as he stared up at the ceiling, "Well, the way I love her is not the same as my brother."

The blonde watched him carefully, "Care to elaborate?"

"For Sirius, loving her is the same as breathing, It is natural, he cannot go a day without doing so and if he were to stop I fear he'd sub-come to the sorrows of the world and that would be his demise. She is like a piece of him and the moment he found her he was complete."

"And you?"

Regulus thought for a moment, a small smile gracing his lips, "For me, it is not as if she is my oxygen but rather someone that reminds me to breathe. She cares about me like no one ever has and I will never be able to repay her for showing me what being loved feels like. She compliments me but she does not complete me. What we have is a without a doubt platonic, which I mislabeled as romantic due to my lack of experience in being loved." Regulus couldn't help but let his mind wander, questioning if he had ever received love from his parents, would he have realized the reality of his feelings sooner? Would he have ever mistaken them in the first place? "I believe we were always meant to be what we are now and I wouldn't change it for the world."

Evan was silent, absorbing the words expressed, "Have you ever felt that kind of love? The kind where you feel as if you were incomplete before them? I think I may have but... well anyway, have you?"

A pair of brown eyes flashed through his mind but they weren't the soft amber color that belonged to Adelaide. No, they were a warm, rich color that seemed to simultaneously swallow him whole and make his heart soar. The color of milk chocolate.

Regulus released a shaky breath and closed his eyes, relishing in the way the joint warmed the pads of his fingers, "I'm not sure."

Evan exhaled, watching the slow stream of smoke twist into the air above him, "I promise, one day you will, though based on your reply I think you may have already." 

hey, besties!

i am really happy with this chapter and it will be very important to the rest of the story <3

how are you doing? if you had to rate your week from one to ten, what would be the score?

have you been drinking enough water, getting proper sleep, and eating well? i hope so.

i've taken a short but much-needed mental health unplug which has caused me to put two of my stories on hold for the time being. i had come to the conclusion that i was putting too much pressure on myself and will be focusing on just this story and flower crowns for the broken, my remus fic, until further notice.

i also recently bought pit tickets to see 5 seconds of summer in a few months and am ecstatic. 

i's also like to give a little recommendation to @kyleegreene 's poetry book Girl Online! i've found her words rather relatable and comforting in a way, so maybe you all will too.

i hope to see you all soon

xoxo

-sammy