𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 | 18+

Chapter 18

Frederik gets me out of my thoughts. "I heard you're the songwriter of the band, right?"

"That's right, yes," I grin.

I don't know how many people are listening to this right now. And while I perform for thousands of people every other night, I can see them and have conversations with them.

"I've got to say that you're quite the talent," Lukas compliments, making me blush.

"That's what we keep telling her, she never believes us," Caleb deadpans, making us all chuckle.

"Thank you," I chuckle, "I try."

"Can you tell us what song was the hardest to write?"

The answer immediately comes to mind. I remember the nights I spent awake, tearing page after page out of my notebook because I wasn't satisfied.

"Melancholy."

I feel a pair of eyes burning holes in the side of my face, but I refuse to look at him.

His attention is on me at the wrong fucking time.

"Beautiful song," Frederik says and twirls around a pen between his fingers, "what made it challenging?"

I let out a quiet breath and think about it for a second. "I think," I begin, "admitting the feelings to myself? Allowing myself to be that vulnerable in writing and sharing them with the world."

"Those are beautiful words, don't worry," he winks, and Lukas adds in, "The world is very grateful that you decided to share."

"And as luck has it," Frederik says with a knowing grin, "I have a few lyrics here with me."

Oh, for fucks sake.

They're going to dissect songs in front of Ares. Just my luck.

My cheeks tint with a blush – because I know the lyrics are about him. A few, at least. Caleb has written a song on the album, and Nick and Vi have helped me out too.

"Let's take the song that started it all, Breathless," Frederik begins.

"A bitter taste is left in my mouth with each step that you take. I'm alone. My lips part and water fill them. Even as I break the surface and gasp for air, I remain breathless."

Hearing the words come out of someone else's mouth feels weird because it felt like a whole storm writing them down and expressing my feelings, and hearing them said so simply without any emotion behind them is unsettling.

"What's the song about, Ella?" Lukas asks.

I pause for a long while, weighing down some answers.

"The song is... uh, about drowning," I answer sheepishly, earning myself some snorts and chuckles.

"It's about feeling out of breath when you're with the person who makes you feel alive. But at the same time, they're killing you slowly," Vi adds.

I feel her soft grip on my hand below the table and I let my shoulders relax in relief.

Giving her hand a squeeze in gratitude, she squeezes right back and runs a circle on the back of my hand.

"Beautifully said," Lukas says, "are any of the songs directed to a certain someone?"

All of them.

All the songs I've written are about my stupid infatuation.

"I think everyone who writes a song, has a certain someone in mind." Nick jumps to my rescue.