A Dance With Death

|| Prologue - I remember ||

I hated the way she talked to me, as if I were a kid. "I don't even talk to my friends anymore. Especially about this."

"Zayn, you have to co-operate with me, or else I won't be able to help you."

"I don't need help."

She pursed her lips at my remark. "I can make you feel lighter. You have held these feelings a year now. It's high time that you talked to someone."

I sighed. Maybe she was right. I needed to talk about this with someone. I had closed myself up. I never talked. I didn't eat properly. I never went out, stayed indoors. Honestly, I never found the outside world appealing anymore.

"Why'd you decide to come after all this time?" she asked me. Why is she asking me such obvious questions?

"My family and friends forced me to. I never would've come."

"It's a good thing they did. It was important."

"Why? So that you could earn a living?"

She laughed. "Maybe. But it's important for you too."

I gave in. "Where should I start?"

"From the beginning." On noticing my discomfort, she continued, "If you want to."

And I did tell her. I left out major details, but I told her what she needed to know.

- - -

We changed after that day. One Direction was no longer the same. Life seemed to move slowly. We had no idea what to do. We couldn't carry on anymore with our career. It was 'The End of One Direction', as the media said. It was becoming difficult to continue without him. There was no possible way to keep going. We stopped recording our upcoming album, cancelled all of our concerts. The fandom turned upside down as the four of us went our separate ways.

All because of that one day.

People wanted us to continue, be One Direction again. But how could we do it? Even if we did, there would be no meaning of One Direction without him. We were asked to start our individual careers. We didn't have the mental strength even for that.

I am still in touch with the rest of the boys. We're still friends. But we're no longer as close as we used to be. We only had each other to deal with everything at that time. But then we tried to move on, go our separate ways. Whenever we came together, just to relive the past moments, we ended up in tears. The four of us stopped meeting each other eventually. We couldn't have handled all the grief.

If I talk of today, I believe that I haven't seen them for months. Yes, I miss them a lot.

It was just another day of our tour. We sang, we danced horribly, we cracked corny jokes. The fans sang along with us, laughed along with us and screamed when one of us did something stupid. The concert went on well. I remember how much we were enjoying ourselves. I remember how happy we were.

But the worst was yet to show.

I remember Niall thanking everyone when the concert was near its end.

"Thank you everyone!" he yelled into the microphone, walking towards the crowd, while the rest of us stood behind him. The fans started cheering louder, begging us not to go.

"You were amazing!"

These final words of his were followed by chaos and panic, because something unimaginable happened; something that I could've never seen coming.

I remember the sound of a gunshot. I remember seeing Niall jerk back, stumbling. I remember him falling to the ground on his back. It took me a second to realise what was going on. I screamed his name, I ran towards him. I rested his head on my thighs. I remember seeing a dark patch on his t-shirt. He was so confused. He was in pain. I could see it in his eyes.