Lohikäärme

Chapter Twelve - Empty

          But I had to.

          I didn't want to do it anymore, but I just couldn't stop myself. It was like something was controlling me, like I couldn't do anything but let it manipulate me. "What did she do to me? Why can't I control myself anymore?"

          I noticed Remekiah's eyes widen in surprise. He asked, "Who? Who did this to you? Was it...?"

          "Carina," I answered instantly. "She told me what to do. Now I don't know why I can't control myself anymore!" Tears ran down my face, and I felt my whole body weaken. I had to lean on the wall for support. I wiped my tears away with my arm. "What's happening to me?" I voiced out.

          "I'm so... so sorry," he whispered, stroking his tail on my lap to comfort me.

          "Help me." Those two words suddenly came out of my mouth. I looked at him and saw his worried face. "Please help me," I begged him, tears still running down my face.

          He closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Safia," he apologized again. "but there's nothing I could do to help you."

          "Please. You have to do something," I pleaded. "I don't even know why I'm in this thing. Please, Remekiah. You have to help me."

          "Rest, Safia," he told me. "Rest, and then we will talk."

          "But I want to--" He cut me off.

          "We'll talk later," he said. "Besides, I still have to recall what happened so I could help you understand what was happening now."

          Even through the tears staining my face, he managed to put a smile on my face. I was starting to think that he was really a good guy. Maybe I was just overthinking things. He wanted to help me, after all.

          The vast sky greeted me as I opened my eyes. The bright light landed on me as it passed through the window in front of me. I felt this lovely warmth embracing me, making me lean on his chest in pleasure. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. I was back in Dante's room--well, at least I thought it was his room. I was with him again. At least I could be happy every time I was with him.

          I heard him chuckle behind me. It instantly made me blush even though I was carrying a big pile of problems on my back.

          "Enjoying the view?" he asked.

          "Uh, yeah," I answered.

          He leaned into my neck until I could feel his warm breath caress my skin. "You don't sound so happy." He tightened his embrace.

          I smiled. "Is it wrong to find you even more enjoyable than looking at the sky?" I heard him giggle, which made me giggle, too.

          The back of his fingers gently stroked my cheek. "You don't know how happy you make me feel," he said.

          I leaned closer to him and inhaled his scent. "Why can't we be together?" I asked him. "You've been in the castle once, why not return and take me with you?"

          He was silent. He stopped stroking my cheeks and didn't do anything. He just...stopped. For a moment, I felt a pang of pain in my heart. Didn't he want to be with me? Was he not interested in spending more time with me? Was he only interested in spending some time with me when he wanted to, and leave when he had more important things to do? Was I expecting too much? Did I just assume that he loved me because I loved him?