Hired By An Asexual

Figuring Things Out

"Anyway, we can't ignore that Al has a problem. A very big problem. And we need to solve it."

"That's precisely why I called, Cherri. I need your help regarding said problem."

"No shit. You've gotten yourself in quite the mess, Alastor."

I nod in agreement, knowing exactly how serious this is.

"Save it. I already received a lecture from Mr. Bossy Boots over there."

"Dat's Kinky Boots to ya, Mister." I huff with my arms crossed.

"See what I mean? You'd think he's forgotten who's staying with who."

"I ain't forgot nothin'. Ya had it comin'."

"Even just now?"

"Especially just now."

"I see where your priorities lie."

"In keeping ya safe. I tease ya every once in a while, but dat's just how I am."

Alastor sighs and shakes his head. "Can we just focus, please?"

"Sure. I dink we can agree dat Alastor needs ta lay low. Dat bastard will be lookin' for him and probably won't stop till he's dead. We  have ta figure somethin' out, and soon."

Cherri nods in both agreement and thought.

"Maybe a disguise? We can't just keep him inside at all times."

"He knows were we all live. It wouldn't make a difference."

Alastor points out.

"And for that reason living with you wouldn't work either."

I add.

"Right."

Cherri agrees.

"So, we're back at square one."

Alastor states.

Cherri snaps her fingers.

"Rosie! You're fond of each other!"

Alastor taps his chin.

"True. But I hadn't seen or heard from her in a long time. I don't know where she lives or anything."

"You haven't kept in touch? Huh. I would have thought that she would have at least kept in touch with you. You we're so close."

"She was also more old fashioned than myself. She probably doesn't have anything but a landline and a television from the 90s."

Cherri snickers. "You're probably right. But at least she bothers to own a television. When's the last time you watched one?"

I cough in an effort to hide my laughter.

"Ha ha. Very funny." Alastor says, still smiling despite the blatant sarcasm.

"You know I simply don't like very many recent things."

"Yeah. So does my grandma. And even she doesn't understand."

"Oh, shit! Need some ice, Al?"

I can't help but blurt out.

Alastor glares at me.

"Who's side are you on?"

"My new bestie's." I reply with zero hesitation.

"Murder is one thing, but theft? I didn't think you had it  in you, dear Angel." Al's smile turns into more of a smirk as he arches his brow in both irritation and amusement.

How da fuck is he managing to pull off irritation and amusement in one expression? And while still  keeping a smile on his face?

"What did I steal, Smiles? Ya buddy?"

I completely ignore the fact that he just said stealing was worse than murder.

"Indeed. Cherri and I have been friends since childhood."

Cherri smirks. "Damn, Al. I didn't know I meant so much to ya.~" She winks.

"Can we please just focus?!"

Cherri and I laugh as Alastor yells at us to focus, clearly frustrated.
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After a long discussion on where Al and I would stay, we eventually decide that a good place to start would be asking Al's friend Husker if we can stay in his fishing cabin upstate.

"I'd still rather stay and just kill him now. But I can't argue that this is probably the best course of action. At least for now."

Al sighs.

"This will also give you time to plan out the murder properly." Cherri mentions.

Al nods, contemplating.

"Maybe I can work on helping Angel regain his powers while we're there as well."

"Wait, what? He lost his powers? How the hell did that happen?"

I shrug. "No clue. All I know is dat one day I noticed it was a tad harder ta seduce my clients. Den one day none of my powers except for a few were workin'. You know. Da ones dat don't matter in da business I was workin' in. Well, dey came in handy sometimes, but apparently not enough ta keep me around."

"Keep you around? What do ya mean?" Cherri inquires.

"Oh, um... I was fired. My pimp said he had no use for a whore who can't get clients."

"Oh."

"I never considered that you had a job before moving in with me." Al cuts in.

"Gee, thanks, Al."

"My pleasure!"

I roll my eyes.

"Anyway, we have another issue. Angel only has one outfit. I gave him my old suit that was ruined my the incompetent dry cleaners, but he went and ruined it even further."

"Hey! First off, it ain't ruined. I won't hesitate to continue ta wear it. Second, it ain't my fault I got shot."

"You got shot?! How?? I thought you had like, super speed. Did that go away too?"

"No. But I was tryna take on a bit too many by myself."

"I can see how it happened now. That normally would have earned a lecture, but I can imagine you didn't have much choice."

"Yeah."

"Ahem." Alastor clears him throat to get our attention again. It works.

"We still have one more problem to solve."

"Angie can borrow my clothes for a while."

"I don't dink ya want me ta borrow your clothes. See, in hell dey have clothing made specifically for winged creatures. But around here, shit needs ta be modified. So unless ya want your clothes ta be Barbiefied, I don't suggest lending me anyding dat ain't already backless. Aside from pants and skirts."

"I think I have some backless tops. The straps tie behind the neck or slip over your head. But I only have a few. He can also have some of my jeans. I have some in the back of my closet that I never wore. If you like leather, I also have a miniskirt with Angel written in it."

"Danks, toots. I owe ya a solid."

"No problem. But that won't last long. You still need other things."

"Ya know what dat means!"

"Shopping!" Cherri and I squeal like a couple of preppy girls in highschool.

"How splendid."

I swear, I think Alastor just died on the inside.
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And, that concludes this chapter! I hope you like it!