Evelyn

Chapter 12 - Killer Instincts

I squealed and grabbed the bag. There was a box of candy inside.

"Michael," I started, opening the box, "Thank you so much-"

I shrieked when something jumped out of the box and hit me.

Then proceeded to throw the box at Michael. In self defense. Well, mine, not his.

I was breathing heavily, looking at him with wild eyes, and he laughed.

He threw his head back, eyes closed and dimples showing, and started laughing so hard I thought he would run out of air.

I think I would have enjoyed the moment more if an unknown object hadn't just hit me.

I looked down to see a hard plastic snake on the floor. It was a trick box.

Oh my God.

He pranked me.

Michael fucking Laurent just scared the shit out of me.

I picked up the snake on the ground and threw it at him. "That was not funny! You have me a fucking heart attack!"

But he kept laughing.

If I'm being honest, the joke was hilarious. He really did get me. But, right now, I'm running half on shock and adrenaline and the other half on triple shot espresso.

"I'm going to get you back for that," I stated simply.

I already have a plan. He'll just have to wait until tomorrow to see it unfold.

"I look forward to it," Michael says, wiping tears from his eyes.

"I really should've thought about this plan more. Now that the doorknob's broken, I can't get into my apartment."

Michael stopped suddenly, realizing the logic in my words. "Not another prank?"

"No, we'll just have to push the door open now."

~~~

"Coffee for Michael," I call the order, smiling smugly in my head.

Michael always orders black coffee every morning, I thought I'd switch it up for him today.

Today he is going to be drinking a Cinnamon Dulce de Leche Latte.

That's (off the record) Clairo's ripoff of the Starbucks drink 'Cinnamon Dolce Latte.' I don't know how, probably the black market, now that I think about it, but Clairo herself found the exact recipe for the drink and now we've ripped it off.

Michael should have some sugar in his system so he can approach the day with joy instead of glaring at everyone. Like he is now.

"Thanks," Michael says with a warm, shy smile as he walks up to me and takes the drink.

"You're welcome," I chirp.

Michael walked out and now all that's left is for me to wait.

~~~

Sure enough, when I got off of work I saw a text from Michael.

Michael 🦇:  Ev, you're amazing, but I think you gave me the wrong drink
Me: No, I didn't
Michael 🦇: It wasn't black coffee
Me: I know
Michael 🦇: It was sweet
Me: Once again, I know
Michael 🦇: So you intentionally gave me that sugary monstrosity
Me: It is not a monstrosity
Me: You need more joy in your life, sugar is a good place to start
Michael 🦇: I have joy in my life
Me: Doing what? Terrorizing the citizens of California?
Michael 🦇: Yes
Me: I knew it
Me: and I bet you liked the drink
Michael 🦇: ...
Michael 🦇: No
Me: So that's a yes then
Michael 🦇: ...
Me: If you want, I'll make you another one tomorrow
Michael 🦇: No
Me: Are you sure?
Me: You hesitated
Me: That's twice now
Michael 🦇: Fine
Michael 🦇: But I still don't like it
Me: Uh huh, keep telling yourself that
Me: I knew you'd love it
Me: I'll put in extra cinnamon tomorrow, just for you
Me: I'm going to stop texting you before you change your mind
Me: Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Michael 🦇: Bye Ev

~~~

I firmly believe that in another life I could've been a gymnast. Or an ice skater. Or a salsa dancer.

When I was younger, my parents tried to get me to learn salsa dancing but I told them no because I would rather pursue professional biking. I recognize that it made me very happy because my love of biking stemmed from watching the movie E.T. excessively, but my parents should've made me do dance.

Where has that biking career gotten me? The answer is no where.

Why couldn't I have been put in something productive as a toddler like child acting. I could act in movies as a cute little kid, get rich, and not drive a car that's almost as old as I am.

In retrospect, it's probably I good thing I wasn't put into child acting. I was a wild kid. Sometimes I see people walk past mothers and tell them that their child is so well behaved or so sweet while the child simply smiles. That wasn't me. I was loud. I was so loud that I would throw tantrums the people at the grocery store were wishing they had ear plugs so they wouldn't have to listen to a random four-year-old screaming.

If like to believe that I've evolved since then. Now when people see me at the grocery store, they're probably thinking 'she looks like she just woke up' or 'that poor girl is depressed, why else would she be buying Cheerios with her one dollar off coupon?'

I would let those people know that my coupon was two dollars off and Cheerios are good for heart health. When one of them has a heart attack I bet they'll be wishing they had eaten some Cheerios. Kidding.

...mostly.

~~~

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Happy April Fool's Day all!!!
My friend pranked me today and it kind of set the tone for the rest of the day.
I'm really craving cosido right now and I just can't get the thought out of my head. If you don't know what cosido is you're missing out, it's delicious.
If there are typos, I'll fix them later. In complete honesty, I'm too tired to reread and spellcheck this, sorry
If anyone is still awake right now, try and go to sleep if you can.
Take care of yourselves. You matter <3