ALMOST

PROLOGUE

ALMOST

Dahan-dahan ang pagtakbo ng kotseng aking sinasakyan habang ang mga mata ko ay nanatiling nakatingin at pinagmamasdan ang aming dinadaanan.

I inhale and then exhale to relax myself. Relax, girl. Just relax. You do have to relax. I have to. I need to. There's no way to be nervous.

Tumigil ang sasakyan sa harap ng malaki, matayog, at kulay abong simbahan.

"Are you ready?" she asked me.

I just offered her a smile. I'm ready.

But am I?

But I have to be ready!

Too many people waited for this. This is the day we've been waiting for, the day they've been waiting for. They maybe so much happy.

I stepped out of the car and looked at everything that my eyes could reach. I feel something strange inside my stomach. I put my hands on it and it suddenly felt warm. Relax.

Don't be nervous, okay?

I heard the car's door closed and my dress is slightly moving. Lumi's fixing it. I just let her do her job.

Narinig ko ang muling pag-andar ng sasakyan, hudyat ng pag-alis nito. Nagsimula akong humakbang ng dalawang beses and then I stopped.

Unti-unti nang natutupad ang lahat ng mga pinangarap ko. Ito na 'yon. Nasa harap na'ko ng simbahang pinapangarap ko. Magkakaroon na ako ng sarili kong pamilya. I should be happy. Everything is falling into my plans—almost.

Nagsimula muli akong maglakad papunta sa harap ng nakasaradong pinto ng simbahan. Malaki at muddy red ang kulay ng dalawang pintuan sa aking harapan. Nakaabang na rin si Papa doon. Wala man lang si Mama.

We waited for few minutes there.
Nakatayo lang ako do'n at hinihintay na bumukas ang pinto habang si Lumi ay maya't maya ang ayos sa aking make-up at gown.

Few moments later, I heard a song starting to play. Damn! Even the song, I dreamed for this. Ever since I was in high school, I already planned this to be played while I'm walking on an aisle. It happened! Glad, it happened.

Dahang-dahang bumukas ang pinto. Mataas at malawak ang loob ng simbahan. May isang dambuhalang chandelier sa gitna nito habang napapalibutan ng mas maliliit pang mga ilaw na tila ba babagsak sa sahig ang paraan ng pag-ilaw.

Ang pulang carpet na aking dadaanan ay natatabunan ng mga petals ng pinaghalong pula at puting rosas na marahil ay ikinalat ng mga batang abay. Ang gilid ng upuan ay may nakaharang na hanggang bewang na mumunting poste na siyang nagsisilbing kapitan ng puting tela.

How I wish I can hold on to something as easy as the curtain does.

Napaka-elegante ng ayos ng simbahan. Everything here is perfectly planned. Ang tagal naming pinlano 'to. Ang tagal naming pinangarap 'to. Ang tagal naming hinintay 'to.

Bumaling ako sa mga bisitang naririto. Lahat sila ay nakatingin sa akin. Some are smiling at me, and some looks disgusted? I don't care, anyway. The people who are just happy for me are all that matters to me.

They're really so much happy for me. I wish I can feel it for myself, too.

I tried to look around to see if my friend is here but I'm just fooling myself. She isn't here. What the hell I'm expecting?!

I just plastered a smile on my face and then lastly, I looked at him as I walk slowly. He really looks so damn good. He's wearing a tuxedo and striped black and white necktie with black pants and shining black shoes. His long and brownish fringe style haircut perfectly suit him.