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the one with the butt

or

the one with ollie's realisations

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the one with ollie's realisations

AT THE THEATRE, THE GANG WAS IN THE AUDIENCE waiting for the play joey was starring in to start.

"ooh! look! look! look!" rachel exclaimed, holding up the leaflet. "look, there's joey's picture! this is so exciting!"

"you can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before." chandler pointed out. "notice: no fear, no sense of impending doom..." ollie sent him a slight glare, having hope for her friend's play.

"the exclamation point in the title scares me." phoebe admitted. "y'know, it's not just freud, it's freud!"

"oh, shhh, shh." ross shushed, as the lights began to dim. "magic is about to happen."

"well, eva, we've done some excellent work here." joey acted, pronouncing his w's as v's in an attempted german accent. "and i would have to say, your problem is quiiite clear."

"all you want is a dingle,
what you envy's a schwang,
a thing through which you can tinkle,
or play with, or simply let hang..."

·༓。*゚✩·゚☽*゚༓· 

when the play ended, everyone began applauding and the cast made their way off stage. most of the audience began to leave but the group sat back down with a groan.

"god. i feel violated." rachel complained.

"ollie, please promise me you're not gonna be in any plays like this." chandler begged her.

"oh, trust me. i won't." ollie laughed with a wince.

"did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?" monica asked, the others nodding in agreement.

"ross, ten o'clock." chandler muttered.

"is it? feels like two." ross groaned.

"no, ten o'clock." chandler instructed.

"what?" ross asked, causing chandler to sigh.

"there's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!" chandler explained, annoyed. ollie's heart definitely did not drop slightly when she heard him say that. 

"oh. hel-lo!" ross awed.

"she's amazing!" chandler exclaimed. "she makes the women that i dream about look like short, fat, bald men!"

ollie had thought that maybe dumping janice was going to be a good thing for her. she kept thinking that maybe chandler had some kind of feelings for her and now she was kicking herself for letting herself have hope. nevermind.

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