Letters and Love

Chapter Seven: Elizabeth

"So...that's it," I ended lamely when I ran out of words. "That's why I've been reading about housekeeping. Molly thought it would help me prepare to go West. If that's what I decide to do."

For a moment, I didn't think Mother was going to say anything. "You should have told me when it became so serious," she finally said. "John and Angelica have no right to put such pressure on you or to manage your life as though you were a child! I would have spoken to them for you."

"Well, I cannot blame them for how they feel." I leaned back in my chair. "I am a burden on them both."

Mother shook her head. "You could never be a burden, Betta," she said, reaching to put her hand on mine. "I have seen how you help Angelica, even when you don't wish to do so. Why, you do more mending than I have ever seen her do. You more than earn your place in this household."

Guiltily, I thought of all the times I had slipped away, pretending not to hear my sister-in-law's voice. That was not being helpful or kind.

"If you really believe they think you are a burden, I cannot imagine how they must view me," Mother continued, her tone becoming pensive. She shook her head before she continued, "I'm sure Angelica is grateful you are here to help take care of me."

Given how Angelica vacillated between believing Mother was not sick and then too sick for company, I very much feared my mother would be left to suffer if I were not there.

"John would never see you as a burden, Mother," I told her honestly. I could understand why she might think that, but she shouldn't have such thoughts weighing on her mind. "It is not your fault you are sick."

"And he shouldn't be so eager to see you wed just so that you are no longer an unmarried sister," Mother said, ignoring me. "Mr. Willis! Why, your father would be rolling over in his grave if he knew this."

Uneasily, I leaned forward. It couldn't be good for her to be so agitated. "Mother, please calm down," I urged. "I am not going to marry Mr. Willis, no matter how much John urges me to. I am writing to Mr. Coleman, remember? There's no need to worry over that."

"Is that supposed to make me feel any easier? You shouldn't be forced to correspond with a stranger just to escape! You don't know anything about this man. He might very well be worse than Mr. Willis!"

"I don't think he is anything like Mr. Willis at all." Was there some way to reassure her? "Would you like to read his letters? He writes well, and he is very forthcoming about the town he lives closest to. He's told me about his neighbors as well."

Mother hesitated. "No. I won't pry into your personal correspondence. If you feel that this Mr. Coleman of yours is an honest man and worthy of you, I will trust that I have brought you up to know what is best. Just...be cautious. There's no reason to rush away to a territory town just because your family has annoyed you."

On that detail, I wasn't entirely convinced. While I would never want to abandon Mother, I wasn't welcome in my childhood home. Rushing was not necessary, it was true, but I did feel I should take steps to be ready to leave.

"Perhaps you would feel easier if you were to take a trip away."

Surprised, I blinked. A trip? "No. Where would—"

"I was thinking you might spend a week or two with my sister who lives near Wabash," Mother continued, interrupting my question. "Her garden might not be yielding much this early in the summer, but she could teach you about the farm. You might learn a great deal from your cousins."

Aunt Hamilton?

"A book is all well and good for giving you information, but the best way to learn is by doing," Mother said with a nod. "They have cows, chickens, and pigs if I remember correctly. And it would give you some space from Angelica."