Sodium and Chloride

Act II: Norman Osborn is a dilf

ACT IIPROLOGUE

Enter Chorus

Chorus

Now old desire doth in his death-bed lie,

And young affection gapes to be his heir;

That fair for which love groan'd for and would die,

With tender Chloride match'd, is now not fair.

Now Sodium is beloved and loves again,

Alike bewitched by the charm of looks,

But to his foe supposed he must complain,

And she steal love's sweet bait from fearful hooks:

Being held a foe, he may not have access

To breathe such vows as lovers use to swear;

And she as much in love, her means much less

To meet her new-beloved anywhere:

But passion lends them power, time means, to meet

Tempering extremities with extreme sweet.

Exit

SCENE I. A lane by the wall of Oxygen's orchard.

Enter Sodium

Sodium

Can I go forward when my heart is here? Turn back, dull earth, and find thy centre out.

He climbs the wall, and leaps down within it

Enter Fluoride and Mercury

Fluoride

Sodium! my cousin Sodium!

Mercury

He is wise; and, on my lie, hath stol'n him home to bed.

Fluoride

He ran this way, and leap'd this orchard wall: call, good Mercury.

Mercury

Nay, I'll conjure too. Sodium! Humours! Madman! Passion! Lover! Appear thou in the likeness of a sigh: speak but one rhyme, and I am satisfied; cry but 'Ay me!' pronounce but 'love' and 'dove;' speak to my gossip Venus one fair word, one nick-name for her purblind son and heir, young Adam Cupid, he that shot so trim, when King Cophetua loved the beggar-maid! He heareth not, he stirreth not, he moveth not; the ape is dead, and I must conjure him. I conjure thee by Rosaline's bright eyes, by her high forehead and her scarlet lip, by her fine foot, straight leg and quivering thigh and the demesnes that there adjacent lie, that in thy likeness thou appear to us!

Fluoride

And if he hear thee, thou wilt anger him.

Mercury

This cannot anger him: 'twould anger him to raise a spirit in his mistress' circle of some strange nature, letting it there stand till she had laid it and conjured it down; that were some spite: my invocation is fair and honest, and in his mistres s' name I conjure only but to raise up him.

Fluoride

Come, he hath hid himself among these trees, to be consorted with the humorous night: blind is his love and best befits the dark.

Mercury

If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark. Now will he sit under a medlar tree, and wish his mistress were that kind of fruit as maids call medlars, when they laugh alone. Sodium, that she were, O, that she were an open et caetera, thou a poperin pear! Sodium, good night: I'll to my truckle-bed; this field-bed is too cold for me to sleep: come, shall we go?