Disarray [H.S.]

Chapter One

Well, today is that day.

The eleventh of April.

I thought it had a nice ring to it.

April 11th was surely here, the day it would finally be over, and the wave of relief knowing that it would all be over soon was so intense. Sitting on the edge of this bridge brought me more comfort than anything in my life ever had before. Reveling in that feeling of comfort, I knew it was time now.

I stood up from where I was seated and glanced around one last time, wind still blowing in my hair. There had been a few cars that drove past me, but this was also a common spot for people to come and stargaze, so I'm sure no one thought much of anything for me being here. Not that I think they can see me from where I stood, but even if they did, no one would have cared anyways.

I could hear some noises around me, though there weren't too many at this time of night. It had just turned 11:30 pm, so the pedestrian conversations had died out, and now all I could really hear was the humming of car engines from behind and below me, and some neighborhood dogs barking a bit. It was so weird to me thinking about how all of these houses I could see had people living in them without a worry in the world. They were happy as far as anyone could tell. And tomorrow, they'd go about their day having no idea a teenage girl jumped to her death from not too far away.

The reason I chose this spot, one, is for its height. I knew it would work. There was no way anyone could survive the impact to the ground from a jump this high. And two, it would be the least disruptive option. I wouldn't be an inconvenience or a burden to anyone since no one would have to walk in on me or find me afterwards. On this side of the bridge, I'd be jumping basically into a forest. Maybe an animal would find me first, eat me. Maybe then I'd be deemed useful having been dinner to a potentially hungry animal.

Too bad I wouldn't be around to know if I was useful or not. This really was the perfect place. I'm surprised more people haven't chosen this spot.

I took a step closer to the edge of this bridge and I shut my eyes, inhaling a sharp breath and holding it in my lungs before letting the air back out. I open my eyes and catch a glimpse of a flashy light. It was gone as quickly as it came. I look down and realize it was simply a car's headlight reflection off of the Pandora bracelet on my right wrist causing a small shine.

My brows furrowed together and my lips turned into a deep frown. I used my left hand to unclasp the bracelet and I gently placed it on the ledge. I didn't want to destroy the bracelet if I could help it. I couldn't let the last thing I do on Earth be ruining that bracelet. It was a bracelet my father had gotten for me when I was born, knowing it'd eventually fit around my wrist with time. He told me it was his mother's bracelet and he wanted me to keep it safe and protect it for him and for her. He died not long after that.

So, I protected that bracelet with my life. I never took it off, I was too afraid to lose it. Losing my dad was hard enough, I didn't want to lose the only piece of him I had left.

If my dad was still alive, maybe I wouldn't be standing on this ledge. Maybe I would have had a normal childhood, not one that consisted of living in a foster home with other orphaned children, or children who have parents who can't take care of them. Maybe I would have had someone to talk to, to tell them when I'm feeling sad. Maybe I would have made better friends at school. Maybe I would have been happy. Maybe. But I guess I'll never know.

Once I placed the bracelet down, I shrugged the olive green jacket off my shoulders. I set it down next to the bracelet, leaving me in just a thin purple T-shirt and thin black leggings. Tattered black sneakers were home to my feet.

Standing on this ledge in the last few moments of my tragic life, I looked up at the moon. It shone so brightly in the sky, illuminating the night. It was beautiful. If there was one thing I was going to miss, I was going to miss the moon.