Prince Twilight

Decision making

I looked all around the castle that was once my home. 

Well it still is, but it changed grandly.

As did I, I'm now the princess of friendship.

I'm honored, but it really isn't me.

I'm not meant to be this 'princess', I'm not doubting my skill or anything it's just that  this life... This body more so isn't me.

Allow me to elaborate,

I'm a stallion trapped within the body of a mare.

Yes yes I know that's not scientifically possible, but I mean that in the sense of that I was born in the wrong body.

Mentally I'm male, physically..... I'm female.

In canterlot as soon as I was about to undergo transition, celestia drags me over here and I develop friends.

I love my friends to death, but I can't just become sompony else if a group of ponies know that I'm twilight.

If that wasn't bad enough, I became a mother bucking princess.

A princess!

That's a HUGE responsibility that I cannot give up for my own selfish needs.

And I'm famous or something so every pony knows the name Twilight Sparkle.

I'm always being watched by paparazzi and guards.

Twilight can't leave anymore.

I'm trapped in this awful situation and I hate it.

I don't mean to sound pathetic, but really my mind is being wrecked like this.

One thing that always prevented me as a child from transitioning was my head.

My head is rather large believe it or not.

I couldn't wear a wig.

It was the largest in my class.

It didn't really look like it though.

I couldn't cut my mane since I was really sentimental about that, and besides I would be picked on by everyone.

My mother never really supported me and I never told my brother or father.

Nopony knows, and I have always kept it that way.

I admit it's not healthy to bottle up feelings, but I had no choice.

I even stooped so low as to self harm, but let's not get into that.

I realized after racking my brain as to what to do about my situation was to possibly resort to extreme measures.

My magic has improved extravagantly and it might be, dare I say, better than celestias.

I hated bragging, but right now it doesn't matter.

I can escape ponyville and start fresh.

I can use magic to hide my wings and make myself untraceable.

Cut my mane, change my name, change my voice and my cutie mark of course.

I trotted off into my restroom quickly, adrenaline was coursing through my veins as I thought of the actions I was about to make.

The question of as to whether I was going to go through with it pulsed in my mind.

I slammed the door shut and locked it, I doubted spike could hear me in this huge place.

Even the bathroom was huge.

The tub was like a pool, not my cup of tea especially.

I like small cozy places, this.... This is the opposite of that.

I looked up at the mirror and used my magic to lift locks of my mane.

I always wanted a blonde mane, but I'm not complaining about my own.

"You can't do this... You're the princess..."

My voice shook as I whispered to my reflection.

"What if equestria is in havoc once again?

What if this doesn't work?

What if your friends miss you?

You will miss them."

A lonely tear traveled down my cheek.

I clenched my eyes shut tightly as I shook my head.

I couldn't stand it anymore, I couldn't go another moment living like this any longer.

I think I was hyperventilating as I started cutting away at my mane.

I couldn't tell, I wasn't really aware what was going on as I did.

I don't remember anything except just hearing my rapid heartbeat.

I couldn't turn back now.