Reviews : a book where I try to review other books

39 | When worlds cross

its more of

what questions made me lose a point, what point in the test did i feel doubtful.. etc.

It feels more realistic cause to me the former phrase just feels like its telling me as a reader that she's studious but thats just it.

Armacres is alright. I guess a bit of descriptions for his face  (i think only the eyes were described but if he was actually described maybe I overlooked it.)

Of course, writers and reviewers say like don't describe everything, just the prominent features and I agree with that.

But usually ive observed that writers write characters descriptions in a certain way.

As if the character looking at them is checking them out.

Usually it starts with prominent feature, (eyes, scars, or anything that catches the eye)

next what those features make them look like (serious, goofy, menacing, experienced)

next usually its their posture, the way they stand in the crowd then how they converse and then the eyes dart to whatever moves.

Maybe the hand moved, then that gets described next so maybe the character has a leather glove that has been ripped. Or a shiny bracelet is resting on their wrist.

And the list goes on until the character stops observing the other.

So yeah I guess thats it for this category.

Dialogue

Its fine it does the job it has to do and well I have no complaints, nitpicks, etc for this category.

Descriptions

okay just a few nitpicks... first one

I think Adie only gave.... should be on its own paragraph.

Something that i kept getting from reviewers that reviewed my past books was that new pov new paragraph.

So since Adie is now moving again and I think away from David, her having a new paragraph for the action would kind of make it more obvious or clearer.

Second...

and landed on the floor with a thud.

With a thud I think is an adverb or an adjective. I dont remember but either way, the action being done first if the landing on the floor.

The with a thud is just an additional detail to the first phrase

landed on the floor.

Other than that, descriptions are okay. Some very little grammar mistakes but very tiny.

Blurb

In the blurb, as a reader I'd think I will be introduced to Adi's life a bit more before meeting the prince. But then it happens on I think the end of the first chapter but either way they already meet in the second.

I think the phrase about her grades plummeting is different from just getting a second place on the score board.

I guess if you wish to follow the blurb perhaps the plummeting of grades will be introduced with her thinking that she went from first to second to third and so on and so forth.

Then her meeting with the principal about her scholarship and their concern on her whether she can keep it or not with her current grades.

Then she crosses paths with david, someone she has grown to dislike. Perhaps strikes another deal with him or something like that.

then interaction with father and then she meets prince.

but that is of course a suggestion, I simply thought this would follow through with the blurb more.

other than that I think the blurb doesnt spoil any specific details but gives the premise of the story.

title

I think it fits with the story and holds some sort of intrigue.

Overall

This may have come off blunt or straightforward and then became rude if so, please say so. So I can edit it or reword because I might've been misunderstood from the way I worded it or maybe I misunderstood a part of your story.

And you mightve noticed the unedited or jumbled thought flow for this....

most likely cause Im writing this late at night.

anyway, i rambled a lot in this review.. mostly it means I had a lot to say or I was sorta invested with the book more than others and was inspired by it to suggest things and stuff like that.

so yeah, i hope this wasnt rude or mean and was helpful in some way.

that is all, farewell!