the albatross [prose] - ❈

IV, moon

It was late afternoon already, that period when Autumn leaves its role to Winter, days get shorter and shorter, Wind smells warm and Sea dances along with the sand. It was my favourite time of the year, but I really couldn't enjoy it as much as I used to, what a shame. Now I know that I just needed some time to appreciate death as well, and my love for life would have crossed the line that separates living and dead  to make me feel gratitude and respect for the experience that living had been. Just by being grateful of my past I would have been able to enjoy things again. 

The sky was already dark painted, just with some exceptions for little bright glares that humans call stars. "It was beautiful" I thought, "beautiful, and far away from me." 

The old man had lit the lantern already so I couldn't actually look at the sky in its full form and magnificence, yet I could lose my eyes in that infinite uncertainty of the unknown. The old man had his eyes closed, I thought he was sleeping, his pipe between the lips and the arm crossed on his large chest. It was so quiet around. I looked up at the sky once more. The brightest majesty that night was not the lighthouse though, it was her, Moon. A dear friend, a loyal companion during life and, death. She was the only one who still could see me, cuddle me with her limbs of light. So pure, in her form and substance, the comforting figure that I was looking for. "Oh Moon, you saw what I've put myself into, so unfair, so unpleasant" I started with words of anger, "but you've always been there, so still, so permanent" here with words of respect, the round face of her, reminded me of not being lonely, I wasn't all by myself in that weird world. It wasn't cloudy above, which permitted me to have a wonderful view of Moon's physiognomy. Her beauty was delightful. I could feel my soul being light-weighted just looking at her. I felt like I could join her, just by flying a bit further, she was there, waiting for me. The familiar facade, smiling and comforting my pain, like a good sister, a friend, a mother. The atmosphere was the only layer dividing me from her in that moment. When I feel upset or lonely I think of her, still today. I think of her, all by herself in the vastness of the universe, between billions of stars smiling at her while she reflects Sun's light just for us. She's there when I cry, she's there when I laugh. She gives me the strength of going on, which is exactly what she did that day. It was just me and her, a lonely ghost who felt a little less lonely with the presence of a dear listener and old friend. 

She gave me the strength of deciding what to do with what was left of my permanence in this world. She gave me the will to find out, why, how and who.