Maybe I'm Lying [COMPLETED]

KABANATA 15- Last One and Still Not Her

I can't stay. I'm not allowed to hug them… I can't, or I won't be able to stop myself from my selfishness and stay here for longer. Their happiness is more important than mine.

Inilahad ni Wren ang kamay niya para tulungan akong sumampa ng helicopter. Napatitig ako rito. Hindi ko iyon inabot at mag-isang unakyat.

After we danced, or it was closer to say hugged, I seemed to lose control of my heart's beating whenever I was near him.

Napatuwid ako ng upo nang isuot niya sa akin ang headset. Tinulungan niya rin akong isuot ang seatbelt at iningatan kong hindi magdikit ang balat namin.

Inabala ko ang sarili sa pagtingin sa baba. “It’s not yet too late to hug them goodbye,” sabi ni Wren. Kahit malakas ang tunog ng elesi ng helicopter ay rinig ko siya dahil may mic ang headset namin na konektado sa isa’t-isa.

Umiling ako sa kanya kahit ang tingin ko ay nasa bintana parin. The view from above is spectacular. The people and houses look like ants or specks of dust as if nothing of significance.

And then, the sunset caught my attention. It's too early yet for the sun to set, but because of the atmosphere. I have the impression that the sun is mourning with me too.

“Though you can't stay. You could still take them…,” boses ni Wren iyon. Nilingon ko siya. “Here….” Turo niya sa puso niya nang hindi lumilingon sakin. “…and here.” Turo niya sa sentido niya.

“No matter where you go. You'll still have them….,” he continued. He then turned to look at me and smiled. A lump is starting to build up in my throat. Sinuklian ko ang ngiti niya ng isang ngiti rin kahit na pakiramdam ko ay maiiyak ako. Hindi ko na nga napigilan at tuluyan nang pumatak ang pinipigilan kong luha. Natigilan siya nang makita iyon kaya agad akong nagpunas at nag-iwas ng tingin.

“Is that part of your job as a bodyguard too? Giving words of wisdom?” pagbibiro ko. And pretended as if he just didn't saw me cry.

What he says does help. I'll always have them in my heart. And somehow, his presence helps too, him making me feel like he understands me and that he's someone I could talk to, makes me feel like I don't have to shoulder everything on my own.

Nakalapag na ang helicopter sa tapat ng mansion. Nakababa na rin si Wren at hinihintay akong bumaba. Itinuwid ko muna ang damit ko at inayos ang tikwas kong buhok bago bumaba.

This time, I accepted Wren’s help. I took his hand as I jumped off the helicopter. I sighed while looking at the mansion. Back to reality, I said mentally. I felt Wren’s hand squeezed mine which made me turn to look at him, and there I saw the gentleness in his eyes. He squeezed my hand again as if asking me if I was ready. I clasped his hand for a couple more seconds, borrowing from him some strength to face my parents. And when I felt I was ready, I squeezed back his hand before letting go.

Nakahilera sa magkabilang gilid ng daanan ang mga maids and butlers namin sa mansion. Nakayuko silang lahat maliban sa Headmaid namin na nasa tapat ng pinto. Yumuko lang siya nang makalapit na ako.

“Welcome back My Lady… Madam Ishioka is waiting for you in the library,” bati niya.

“Ang rinig ko hindi daw maganda ang timpla ni Madam ngayon.”
“Malamang may nagawa na namang mali itong bratinella niyang anak.”
“Hindi kaya sumama sa lalaki niya? Rinig ko lalakero daw ang babae niyang anak—”

Nilingon ko ang mga maids na nagbubulungan sa gilid. Halos magtalunan sila sa gulat nang makita ang nanlilisik kong mata. How dare them talk about me like that in front of me?!

Taas noo na sana akong lalapit sa kanila nang pigilan ako ng Head-housemaid namin. “My Lady… huwag na po nating paghintayin pa si Madam.”

Tumango ako rito, and threw another death glare to the maids who were gossiping. I was about to walk when she stopped me again.