Affectionists In Red [Frerard]

Chapter 2

I needed to find them. But I was struggling and that wasn't like me. It has always been so simple for me to find people but this person, it was like they were hidden away.

I had spent the last two days searching and studying but I couldn't find anything. This was fucking ridiculous.

I slammed my notebook shut and kicked my trash bin across the room. It was empty so I didn't have to worry about cleaning up a mess.

I looked out the window with my arm resting on the frame above my head. I took my free hand and ran it through my greasy black hair.

This was a little strange but sometimes I didn't know how to feel. Like I wasn't in that state where I was confused on whether or not I was angry or sad, but whether or I could feel. If I could feel one tiny bit of emotion. I felt things like peace a lot but I'm not too sure about relaxation. To me there is a difference.

Now, I'm not thinking of the main, basic emotions, but the more complex ones. The ones that people forget about in general. If we're being top tier then I could say that the state of my mind is one whole emotion in general. It all functions the same but controls different things.

Sometimes I wondered if my brain was originally multiple emotions that were mixed together to create one. What if I never knew what that emotion was, or what if I was that emotion? Think about it like this, if our brain is many emotions, then what if our body is that one emotion combined but we don't know it and we spend our whole life trying to find the answer but we are that answer. We just hadn't realized it yet.

Maybe the answer was under our nose the whole fucking time but we were just too blind to notice. People spend their whole trying to find the answers to life but what if their isn't one. What if their is no reason at all. People will also spend most of their life thinking that they did nothing or that it was all a waste, but this is what I think.

Clearly everyone in this world has a purpose, even if they don't know it. If someone wakes up every morning, then there is a reason. I think that you can't leave until you accomplish that goal.

My goal is to take the people who have done wrong out of the world. I cannot leave yet because there is one more thing I must take care of. And that is how I was snapped out of my thoughts.

I heard a car door slam shut. What the fuck? I live in the middle of the woods. There shouldn't be anyone here.

I ran towards the front of my house and peeked out of the window. Somewhere down the street was a small moving truck and a dark blue car that looked to be about 5 years old or less.

Yes I know I said that I lived in the middle of the woods but there were still a few houses on ny street. They weren't too close. An older couple lived in the one on the end. One of the homes was completely abandoned, I was living in one, and now someone was moving into the house right in front of me.

Hell no.

I decided to stay right there, though. I continued watching and after 10 minutes, there was movement again. A man walked out of the house who seemed to be in his 40s or 50s. He was holding a clipboard so I assumed he was the realtor. Soon, walked out a shorter man who looked to be in his early 20s.

I watched as he walked over to the older man with his hood on and a cigarette softly gripped in between his two fingers.

They talked for about 2 minutes when the shorter man was handed the keys and the realtor drove away.

I kept looking at the man. He looked so familiar but I just couldn't put my finger on it. I didn't know if it was the black hair, the height, or the person in general.