Intoxicated✔️

"Well, he said that he just used her to talk. But then, she said that she kissed him, he said that he pushed her away."

"Who do you believe?"

I, unfortunately, believe him. But, I also don't understand his story.

"Him. Maybe it'll make sense if I let him explain."

"Maybe."

I learned the hard way that I indeed, cannot go up the stairs by myself without help. I mean, I did but I think I almost died at least five times.

"Alessio! So help me god don't let me fucking find you! How dare you disrespect my daughter in law!" Mama Guiliani slowly turned around as she heard the basement door close, "Hi, honey." She ran over and gently gave me a hug.

"I want you to know that i'll beat his ass as soon as I find him, he's hiding right now." I smiled, but not a meaningful one. One that didn't quite reach my eyes.

She quickly let me go and ran around the corner. "Ow ow ow ow! Mom!" She came back around the corner, dragging Alessio by his ear.

"Shut up and explain!"

I carefully leaned against the kitchen counter, watching it all unfold.

"Okay! I just needed someone to talk to, she said she had her degree for it. I talked about Myana the entire time, when she kissed me I pushed her off and obviously held a gun to her head. You'd have to be a crazy bitch to try and kiss me when you're not Myana."

He glanced at me before continuing.

"I told her to get out and not to come back. I thought she left but I guess she came back when the doctor came in."

I want to forgive him.

But I don't want to get hurt anymore.

People can only handle so much hurt in their life before it destroys them. I think i've passed that point in my life.

It just still hurts that she was here at all, that she slept in my bed.

And there's no way he didn't know she was still here, he knows when Carmine steps foot on his property with his stupid nerf gun. He'd obviously know if a women was still in his house.

I don't understand.

Maybe his guard was down?

I'm just making excuses.

"So you, the big mafia leader, didn't know she never left." He shook his head, Mama Guiliani must not believe that either because she pulled harshly on his ear.

"Mom! Okay, I knew she was here. I wanted to introduce you guys a different way because I thought she might be able to help you. I didn't want to come out and say I got you a therapist."

"Why lie? Why not just say that from the beginning?" She asked. "Because she didn't give me the chance to! Plus, I was still trying to process the loss of my unborn child."

Cat sighed deeply and put her hand over her heart, "Oh, dear. I'm so sorry." I bit my lip and nodded.

I wish I could be sad about it. I'm just angry, anymore. Anger is all I seem to feel. I don't even know if I can be sad anymore.

"I'm gonna get some air." I opened the sliding glass door and sat in the grass. Grayson ran up to me and licked my face. "Hi, honey." I kissed his nose. "Mommy missed you so much."

"I didn't mean to follow you out here— well no, I did mean to follow you." Cat sat down next to me and rested her hand on mine, "You know, Alessio's father has done many horrible things in the time we were married."

I glanced at her before throwing Grayson's toy.

"After everything he's done...I still love him. I'd still die for him. He tried to sell me, he tied me up and put duct tape over my mouth and yet I still sit here and think about him."

"My point is—you always have that one love. That one that, no matter what they do, or what they say— you'll always love them and forgive them. And I don't mean to overstep...but I think that Alessio is that love."

Catrina Guiliani talks about Alessio's father as if he put the stars in the sky. She talks about him with such adoration, even after everything.

She's right though.

Alessio is that love.

He's done so many horrible things to me. My life has been flipped upside down since I met him...but yet— no part of me hates him. No part of me wishes it could be different.

It feels as if my heart beats for him and only him.

As if he made the planet we call earth just for me to live on with him.

The truth about love is that, it's not always beautiful. It's messy, ugly, painful, heartbreaking, anxiety inducing...when you love someone it's probably one of the most terrifying things in the world.

Putting your full faith and trust into them not to break your heart.

Handing it all to them on a silver platter.

And even if they were to break your heart, you'd probably forgive it because you love them enough to go through that pain a thousand more times if it means you can hold their hand in the process.

It's terrifying—but it's intoxicating.

His love is intoxicating.

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A/N: I am battling a serious case of writers block. Btw i'm writing this on 5%😜. Anywho, I don't know when the next chapter will be out because I really struggled to write this chapter.

I don't know recently my creative juices just haven't been flowing.

But hey, I finished 2nd and 3rd quarter with a 4.0 and I got 9 more weeks of school left 😫. #Sendprayers.

I love you all and thank you so much for the support.

Remember to leave your opinions on the chapter :)))

Until the next update 😘

Tiktok- reading_romancer , I post sneak peaks on chapters sometimes and sad tik toks 😼